La Belle et la Bête
by Wonder and Ashes
Summary: So Buffy's life was foretold in a famous fairy tale. Who knew? She and Spike certainly didn't, despite being the protagonists of this unexpected love story. Winner at Round 30 of the SunnyD Awards for Best Crossover (Movie). Runner Up for Best Fluff.
1. Prologue: Tale as Old as Time

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter Notes**: First posted on _Elysian Fields_ September 4th 2014 as a response to a challenge.

* * *

><p><em>In the Age of Apocalypses, Beauty shall meet the Beast<em>

_The Beast, once a man, and Beauty, once a girl_

_Each a killer of the others' kind, a Slayer and a Slayer of Slayers_

_Each with hatred only natural_

_Until the pain of the Father unites them _

_Through choice but no choice, and then twice over_

_The Beast and Beauty will remain under roof_

_From monster to knight the Beast will transform_

_For the love of Beauty, against nature he will turn_

_The Beast shall earn the love the Beauty_

_His reward shall be Life, and the power of the Slayer_

* * *

><p><strong>Buffy<strong>

The last time I saw Drusilla in my dream, it was before Angel lost his soul. So seeing her again – walking slowly towards me like a ghost flowing through a cemetery – isn't a good sign.

She stops a few paces in front of me and we just stand there staring at one another. She's smiling like the crazy bitch she is, and I know it can't be anything of the good.

And the dream had been going so well, too. Typical nonsense; Willow in a marching band, Xander dressed like a pirate, Giles making towers out of books, Mom and Dawn juggling pancakes… Even Riley's in it, dressed in a red shirt while shooting demon birds out of the sky.

But _nope_, the crazy vampire ho just has to show up. In the Bronze, of all places. Just like the last time.

"Miss Edith told me a story, Once Upon a Time," she says. The doll is suddenly in her hands, and she brings it up to her ear. "It's about a monster and a little girl. A tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme…"

OK, seriously? Celine Dion? Granted, the film it comes from is a pretty good movie… "Can you cut out the cryptic crap?"

She laughs. "Too many 'c's. The other letters will be jealous." Her eyes slide close as she sways from side to side. "Just a story, they said. But the stars told me where I could find the Beast. He wasn't a Beast at all when I found him, so I _made_ him one."

"Made him?" I think of Spike. Drusilla's his sire, right?

"He was never mine," Drusilla continues. "All I had to do was make him a Beast. What goes around comes around. He will turn back someday, if Beauty sees the man within the Beast." Then she looks at me. "The beautiful sunshine will turn him back one day."

"Who are you talking about?" I already know, but I have to be sure.

"My dark prince. My Spike." The scene around us changes, and we're both standing in an alley way. Back in time, I guess. There's an old-fashioned look about it. I see Drusilla again, only she's wearing a blue dress and a shawl instead of her usual white. Sat down before her is…

OK, who knew Spike was a nerd when he was alive. And actually…kinda cute. In a cute-nerd kind of way.

I watch as Spike rises and backs away from Drusilla, saying something about her not having his purse. Then Drusilla goes on about how his "wealth" lies in his heart and mind, and then I realize what she's about to do. Of course, it should've been obvious; I've seen the result in all his bleach blonde, black leather glory.

My instincts tell me to stop it from happening, and I almost run to him. But Drusilla – the one in the white dress – holds her arm out and shakes her head. "Naughty. They do not see us. We do not touch them. We are the pixies who watch and whisper."

I watch helplessly as Spike – a good man – is stripped of his life and turned into a monster.

Then the scene changes again, and we're in Sunnydale – in a very familiar part of Sunnydale on a very familiar night.

I recognize myself dressed in black and stood in front of the police car. The cop is knocked out on the hood while Spike is sat next to him, rummaging through his pockets. Spike is explaining the reasons why he wants to save the world while the other me is listening.

"A special boy, my Spike," says Drusilla. "He's not like that others. He never wants to play with us; he always wants to play in the sunshine."

I turn to her. "Why are you showing me this?"

"United by the pain of the Father…" She laughs again. "Barely even friends, then somebody bends…unexpectedly…"

I roll my eyes. "I don't speak 'Cryptic' and I don't speak 'Disney'!"

Then she turns to me, and I see in her eyes that she's serious. No hint of laughter or craziness at all, and it's enough to wig me out.

"Both a little scared, neither one prepared, Beauty and the Beast."

My eyes snap open and I'm lying in my own bed.

"Buffy!" I hear Dawn yell from downstairs. "Are you gonna sleep _all_ day? Come down! I'm watching _Beauty and the Beast_!"

_Beauty and the…_ I sit upright, recalling the dream.

Either it's just a freaky coincidence…or something big is going down.


	2. Chapter One: True as it Can Be

**Buffy**

OK, breaking both the coffee machine and the yogurt machine? So not cool. Slayer strength comes in handy during patrol. In the real world, with real machines designed for real people with real human strength? Not so handy.

I hate being distracted; that's what leads to mistakes like this. But I can't stop thinking about the dream. What has Spike or _Beauty and the Beast_ got to do with anything?

I mean, sure, Spike showed up a couple of weeks ago looking for that Gem of Amara thing, but he left again afterwards. He was in LA, trying to take the Gem from Angel – who then decided to smash it, the idiot. I mean, yeah, I get that he couldn't let it fall into the wrong hands, but he could've gotten himself a sun tan. He could've gone for long walks in the park.

He could've… _We_ could've been together.

OK, so the Gem probably wouldn't have stopped him from losing his soul…

I sigh. I need to stop thinking about Angel. Moving on, remember? Yeah, I tried that with Parker, and look how well _that_ turned out.

I overhear some of the TAs talking about me. Sneaking a glance, I see that Riley is one of them. He's not so bad. He looks good, nice, safe, dependable…

…boring.

I listen in as they talk. Two of them – Forrest and Graham I think their names are – talk about how hot I am. Graham is a little more polite about it, but Forrest keeps saying things about how I'm 'smoking' and 'on fire'. What a douche.

Riley says I'm pretty. He also calls me 'interesting' and 'peculiar'. He says I'm a mystery, and he can't figure me out.

So the usual verdict then. Buffy's a hottie who all the guys want in their bed. She's also the odd one; the one who stands out because she's 'peculiar' and 'interesting'.

Somehow I'm not surprised.

* * *

><p>When the fighting is over I take Willow back into our dorm. Her side of the room is a mess, a result of what happened with Spike.<p>

I can't believe Spike tried to kill her, but at the same time I can.

So why didn't he?

He arrived long before those commando guys did, from what I could tell. So why isn't Willow dead or worse? Did he just decide to have a chat with her before he killed her? Spike's usually not a patient guy.

"Are you OK?" I ask.

"Yeah." She nods. "Strangely enough, Spike comforted me."

My eyes widen. "We _are_ talking about the same Spike here, right?"

She nods again. "I thought it was me, and no one wants me because I'm just Willow, the best friend who's like a sister to everyone. He said he'd bite me in a heartbeat. He even liked the jumper I wore last year; the pink fluffy one…"

"Willow," I interrupt. "Why didn't Spike bite you? He even told you he would."

She shrugs. "I don't know. One minute he was going to, and the next he was holding his head in pain and yelling. He kept trying but the same thing kept happening. Do vampires have trouble biting sometimes? You know, like sometimes guys have trouble "performing". Is that a thing?"

"Not one I've heard of," I say. "But he's gone now, and hopefully he won't be coming back." I rub her shoulder. "I'm sorry the party was a bust."

"Did Riley talk to you?"

"He…tried," I say, remembering his offer of cheese.

"He says he likes you," says Willow. "He came by earlier today and asked me what you liked. He seems nice."

I nod. "He's nice. But he's too…normal. I mean yeah, Angel said I should find a normal guy, but I need some excitement. I can't help but feel that a relationship can only work with pain and fighting, so you're never bored and it's worth it. Love is passion, and…Riley doesn't really scream 'passion'."

"He could if you asked him to."

I laugh. "Besides, I learnt my lesson with Parker. No blindly jumping at guys. I don't wanna date someone because I feel I have to. I wanna do it because I _want_ to; because he's the right guy for me."

"Sounds too fairy tale-y for me," says Willow. "This is the real world. We don't get happily every afters."

I think of all the loved ones we've lost one way or another – Jenny, Cordelia, Angel, Oz – and can't help but agree.


	3. Chapter Two: Barely Even Friends

**Spike**

Sunnyhell's brought me nothing but misery for the past two years.

It's the Slayer's fault.

I bring Dru to the Hellmouth to heal her, and the Slayer stops me. I finally heal Dru, and the Slayer puts me in a wheelchair. The Slayer fucks the soul right out of Angelus, and he comes back to fuck Dru. I make an alliance with the Slayer to get Dru back, and she leaves me. I get the Gem of Amara, and the Slayer takes it from me.

I don't even know why I bothered to come back here. I should've just taken the hint; Sunnyhell is nothing but trouble.

But no, I just had to let my anger get the better of me. I wanted to kill the bint, and I end up getting some neuter-thing shoved up my brain. Can't even hit people, let alone bite them.

I thought it was her fault at first. And it still is in a way; she's the reason I came back in the first place. But she's not wealthy enough – or smart enough for that matter – to set up some underground lab like some glorified Nazi. She's like me; she prefers the fight.

It'll be giving her too much credit, as well.

And yet, despite all that – despite her being the reason I'm all neutered and the reason my unlife's become a living hell – I go to her and her mates for help. Because I can't turn to my own kind; they'll kill me or worse. The only hope was Harmony, and she kicked me to the curb, just like Dru did.

Could've gone to Dru, but she's too far away. I'd be dead for real before I reached her. Like she'd help me anyway; she didn't before when I was in a wheelchair.

So the Slayer it is. Stake me now, I must be desperate.

But as per the norm, she takes my appearance the wrong way. She pushes me to the ground and the blanket falls off. I start to sizzle as I struggle to get it over me again. Bloody bitch.

"What part of 'help me' don't you get?"

"The part where I help you." The Watcher appears next to her with a stake in his hand, which he hands to her without question.

"C'mon, I'm part boilin' out here."

"Want me to help make it quicker? Is that the help you need?"

Ha-bloody-ha, Slayer. "Invite me in!"

"No!"

"Very unlikely."

I run at the door but I'm thrown back by the barrier. Bleeding hell. I they weren't on the other side of the barrier and I weren't all neutered, I'd be grabbing them and hitting them right about now. Aren't this lot supposed to be heroes? Can't they see there's something wrong with me?

I lean against the doorway. "Look, I'm safe; I can't bite anyone." I see the witch sat in the living room. "Red, tell them what happened."

She gets up. "You said you were gonna kill me and then Buffy."

And I thought she was the nice one. "Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part when I couldn't bite you."

"It's true." She nods. "Remember what I said, Buffy? He had trouble performing."

"Hey!" Way to go, Red. Making it sound like impotency. "And, well, it looks like they've done me for good."

I can see that I've got the Watcher's attention. He's interested. "What are you saying?" It's that gleam in his eyes; that thirst for knowledge.

"I'm sayin' that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore," I explain. I can't really put it any other way, because I don't really _know_ what they've done to me. All I know is that they put something in my brain that shocks me whenever I try hurting people. "I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people!"

"So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals!" Sure, trust the bitch to take it personal. I only tried to kill her a couple of times. _Dru_ tried to kill me more times than that.

"I don't wanna be your pal, or rot like that," I say. "You're heroes, and I need help. Remember when I came to you in _your_ time of need? Remember when I helped you stop Angel from endin' the world? If I recall, I stopped him from killin' your Watcher here."

"Yet, you let him torture me," he says.

I roll my eyes. "Couldn't stop him from doin' that. He's not daft; he'd figure out I wasn't on his side no more. And the world didn't end! I got Dru out; we weren't gonna come back. Not my fault she dumped me for it."

"That was, what, a year and a half ago?" says the Slayer.

One more try. "I've got information! About those…soldier boys you were fightin'. They're the ones that did this to me. Got the inside scoop." I can see they're interested; the Slayer and the Watcher exchange glances. "C'mon! What've you got to be afraid of?"

So they let me in – and they tie me up.

"Bloody hell, woman! You're cuttin' off my circulation!"

"You don't have any circulation."

"How'd you think the blood reaches all my important bits?"

She pulls tighter.

"Ow! It pinches!"

"Well, get used to it." She stands and glares down at me. "I've got more important things to worry about."

"I came to you in friendship!" She glares, and I shrug. "Well, alright, seethin' hatred, but I've got useful information and I feel I'm being mistreated."

"So tell me everything you know." She does that thing with her hips when she's pissed – a good kind of pissed where it doesn't involve stakes or fire.

Ooh, this could be fun. "I'm too hungry to remember everything."

"Then sit." She whacks me upside the head.

Yeah, real bright idea, Spike. Let the enemy tie you up while they make Thanksgiving dinner and argue about some stupid Native American spirit. Stake me now. They feel bad about taking his land? They should've thought about that back when they were doing the taking.

I really should've thought this plan through. Oh, who am I kidding? It's one of _my_ plans, and everyone knows what happens to my plans. This one has to be the worst, where I end up as a human pin cushion with one arrow barely inches from my heart. On the bright side, I'd be off this miserable planet if one hit true. I really can't go any lower than this.

On another bright side, Angel showed up. And he convinced the Slayer's mates not to tell her about it. And now I can sit back and watch the show as the Slayer yells at her friends for keeping her out of the loop.

I could charge price of admission and sell popcorn for this kind of entertainment.


	4. Chapter Three: Then Somebody Bends

**Buffy**

Of course I'm mad at him. What right does he have showing up in my town, thinking I'm not strong enough to see him?

He's allowed to see _me_ but I'm not allowed to see _him_? How's that fair?

"I was there to protect her," he says as I silently enter the office. "I kept out of sight; she didn't even know I was there."

Has he always been doing stuff like that to "protect me"? Since when do I need his protection? I'm the Slayer; not some damsel-in-distress chick who's always locked up in a tower.

I hear Cordelia speak. "If my ex came to town and was all 'stalking me in the shadows', and then left, and he didn't even say _hello_, I'd be-"

"A little upset," I finish, looking right at Angel. "Wouldn't you?"

He turns to me and gets this 'deer-in-the-headlights' look, before trying the 'kicked-puppy-dog' look on for size. He doesn't want me to be mad; he wants me to forgive him. And maybe I will, but not without making him understand that he can't do that to me. I'm not the teenage girl I once was; I don't fall for his big brown, wide-eyed look anymore.

"Buffy." Cordelia stands. "Buffy's here, in town… What brings you-?"

"I came to see my father. Thought I'd stop by." It's partly true. I really wasn't planning on seeing Dad for Thanksgiving, but Angel's little stunt gave me a reason to. I don't want to just be here to tell off Angel.

"What a surprise!"

Cordelia hasn't changed. Still no tact. "Cordelia, how are you?"

"Good! I'm good. And you?"

I look at Angel again. "I've been better."

"Uh huh." Then she introduces me to this guy named Doyle, but I don't really listen. I'm too busy trying to figure out what I'm going to say to Angel once we're alone. Which is a few seconds later, when Cordelia drags Doyle out, muttering something about having enough time for "the director's cut of _Titanic_" while Angel and I talk it out.

I don't blame her. "The Angel and Buffy Show" can be hours long sometimes.

I shut the door and watch Angel as he squirms. "Well…it's good…to… Can I get you anything?"

"How about an explanation?" I ask. "Who do you think you are coming to my town, following me around behind my back?"

"I'm sorry-"

"What is this, some new torment you cooked up just for me?"

"No, I didn't wanna torment-"

"You can see me but I can't see _you_? What are we playing here?"

"We're not! We're not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision."

"Which you made without me." I can't believe he doesn't get it. Why can't he put himself in my shoes? Then he'd understand how angry I am.

He sighs. "I tried to do what I thought was right. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy; it's kind of a long story."

"Your new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?" I guess. Seriously, does he think I'm that dumb?

He doesn't know what to say to that. "OK, maybe not _that_ long…"

"You didn't think I could handle you being there," I say simply. Because it's the truth. "Angel, I'm the Slayer; I have to be strong every day. If I could handle sending you to Hell, then I think I can handle seeing you for one day. And even if I wasn't the Slayer, I'm a big girl now. I'm not in high school anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left."

"I know. I respect that."

"Do you?" I ask. "Do you really? 'Cause I don't need you stalking around, trying to "protect" me. I can handle myself in a fight, and my heart can take it."

"You never complained before."

"I've been having talks with Mom since then," I say. And I have. She told me exactly what Angel was doing; she told me how wrong it was. I was young then, and I didn't know any better. Now I do, and I see her point.

But that doesn't change how I feel about him. No matter what he does, I just can't seem to let go.

Angel opens one of his draws. "I wanna show you something." He takes out this old scroll, and I sigh inwardly.

"An old piece of paper? That's more Giles's thing," I say.

"I told him about it when I was in town. He…really didn't like what it was implying," he explains. "But it's hopeful."

"What do you mean?"

He lays it out on the table before taking out a notepad as well, also with stuff written on it. "It's a prophecy, one of the oldest," he says. "It was written in an old French dialect, but a friend of mine has been able to translate some of it. I gave Giles a copy of both in case he wants to take a crack at it."

"What's it about?" I ask.

"You know the tale of _Beauty and the Beast_?"

I remember my dream. "Yes."

"Turns out, this is its original form," he explains. "I think you may be Beauty. And…I may be the Beast."

I pause. "Go on."

"This is what it says." He points to the translation. "_In the Age of Apocalypses, Beauty shall meet the Beast. The Beast, once a man, and Beauty, once a girl. Each a killer of the others' kind_. Slayer and vampire, it means. There's a little bit in the middle my friend hasn't been able to translate yet, but he got the last four lines. _From monster to knight the Beast will transform. For the love of Beauty, against nature he will turn. The Beast shall earn the love the Beauty. His reward shall be Life, and the power of the Slayer_."

"The power of the Slayer?"

He shrugs. "I guess we'll find out when it happens. But don't you see, Buffy? If I stay away, I can figure out a way to control my demon without the need for my soul. And then we can be together."

I don't know what to say. I gave up hope of having Angel again when he left town, and now… Here he is, showing me a way to be together. Sometime in the future, we'll find a way to each other.

It's the fairy tale I thought our romance to be, once upon a time.

Suddenly the window smashes and we're facing a demon.

* * *

><p>I will remember him.<p>

I will remember his time as a human, even though he thinks I've forgotten. Let him. Let him live on, thinking I'm unhurt by his actions – thinking he's "spared me pain" once again.

He made the same choice; he can see me, but I can't see him. He can remember what we had, but I can't.

But I _do_ remember.

We thought it was the prophecy. We thought it was our chance to be together. But he gave it up, all because he wanted to be strong again. He wanted to be the one to protect me. He wanted to be the hero.

I told him before that I don't need his protection, but clearly he never learnt. Is that all he sees me as? A girl who needs protecting from the big bad world? Does he not see me as the Slayer at all? Am I just some dumb little girl to him?

Does he really love me? How could he, when he gave up everything we had together?

We can't be together. He had his chance, and he chose to leave me. Again. The part of me that still loves him starts to die, and I let it. If he wants us to be apart, then fine. I'll stop loving him. He's obviously stopped loving _me_. If he ever did.

I tell all this to Giles, and he agrees. "Buffy, I know you don't want to hear this, but he was nothing more than your first love. A first love will always hurt more because it is your first experience of love; that's why it felt so true."

"I want to hear it." It makes me feel better, knowing there's a reason for my agony. A first love is something I can handle. "I want you to tell me how immature I was back then. Mom gave me a lecture, and I wish I came to you guys first before everything went wrong. I believed he was my soul mate – but take that soul away, and there's not one caring bone in his body. If it was true love, he'd be able to overcome that. But he can't."

"He tried to manipulate you," says Giles. "He believed this prophecy to be about the two of you. He showed you so you'd wait for him; so you can never find anyone else."

I never thought of that before, but…it makes sense. "Jerk."

"Truth is, Buffy, life isn't a fairy tale," he continues. "Life doesn't have happily ever afters. People rarely find their soul mates – and if they do, they don't always live happily." He looks away.

I know who he's thinking of. "Willow said the same thing; about life being anything but a fairy tale. So does that mean this prophecy is a bust?"

"It may come to pass," he says. "But it may not be about you. I find it highly unlikely."

I choose not to tell him about the dream. Because if the Beast is who I think it may be…then I can't think about what that can mean for me and my mortal enemy.


	5. Chapter Four: Just a Little Change

**Spike**

I know I should just fess up and tell them everything I know. It'll make things easier for all of us. But I can't let this one go. It's all a matter of pride, it is.

They're treating me like crap, and I refuse to play along.

It's what I expect of them, us being enemies, and all. But this treatment… This is what _I_ should be doing to _them_. Not the other bleeding way around. _They're_ the heroes here. Aren't the heroes supposed to treat prisoners of war better than the bad guys?

"So you saw their faces but you can't describe them?"

I love making her annoyed. Wait… I shouldn't love _anything_ to do with her. She deserves this, anyway. She's the one who chained me up in a bath tub.

"Well, they were human," I say. "Two eyes each, kind of in the middle."

"Uh huh." I can tell she's resisting the urge to punch me in the nose. "And the lab?"

"Underground." When she rolls her eyes, I add, "I came out through an air vent. I don't know exactly where. I'm done. Put the telly on."

The Watcher walks in with a mug full of blood. Pig's blood. Swill. I've fallen so bloody far since coming to this town. Why did Dru and I come here instead of going to the Cleveland Hellmouth?

"Has he said anything?" asks the Watcher.

"It's about time!" I complain before the Slayer can answer. "I hope you got it warm enough."

The Watcher hands the mug to the Slayer. She peers in, gags, and then holds it towards me. They put a straw in it, as well. If Dru could see me now… I grab the straw in my mouth and start sucking.

"Ew…" The Slayer looks away.

"I don't know why you're so dainty all of a sudden. You've done this for Angel, you must've-"

Why can't I learn to keep my bleeding mouth closed?

"OK." She takes the mug away, but the straw stays in my mouth.

"Hey! Give it!" I suck up the remaining blood in the straw before spitting it out again. I know it's my fault; I can't seem to learn to keep my trap shut when I need to. It's a weakness, despite the voices in my head telling me over and over "Control that mouth!"

"The kitchen is closed until you can tell us something _useful_ about the commandos," she says.

"I'm _tryin'_ to remember. It was _very_ traumatic." Why do I keep digging myself into a bigger hole? Have I learnt _anything?_

She rolls her eyes, as does her Watcher. "How long are you gonna pull this crap?"

"How long am I gonna live once I tell you?" It's a good question; with how they've been treating me, who's to say she won't drive a stake through my heart once she's got the information she needs?

"Spike…" The Watcher takes his glasses off to rub his eyes. Looks like I'm driving him nuts, too. "We have no intention of killing a harmless…creature, but we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're…impotent, or-"

"Hey!" Why do they have to keep calling it that? I'm pretty sure the goods work just fine.

To his credit, the Watcher looks apologetic. "Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure that you're…err…"

"Placid?"

That girl is just… "You are _one step away_, missy."

"Giles, help! He's gonna scold me!"

I try to break the chains. I'm gonna strangle her, blasting headaches be damned. "You…little…" I try to reach for her.

If I could only see myself from where she's standing… I must look pathetic.

"You know what?" She kneels down next to me. "I don't think you _want_ us to let you go. Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for ya."

She's gotta be joking. "Comfy? I'm chained in a bath tub and drinkin' pig's blood out of a novelty mug."

"You want something nicer?" Then she leans back, turns her head and… Oh no, she wouldn't… That bitch is… "Look at my poor neck." She runs a finger down a very visible vein. "All bare and tender and exposed…" I feel the hunger urging me to take a bite…just one little bite… The zapping in my head isn't _really_ that painful… "All that blood just pumping away…" The urge gets stronger…

And then something _else_ gets stronger and I feel a familiar bulge against my jeans.

Crap! I'm getting hard over the _Slayer!_ The _fucking Slayer!_ Sure, she's not bad on the eyes, and she was just so seductive with her little dance that night I first saw her… Cripes, what am I _thinking?!_

"Giles, make her stop!"

But he just rolls his eyes and leaves with an, "Oh, please!" and then I hear him muttering, "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."

Yes, please. Kill me. I've gone hard for the Slayer. It's the end of the world. I'll never live this down.

She pulls away and grabs the mug again, thankfully failing to notice the bulge in my pants. I'm drinking out of the straw again when Red leaves and the Watcher re-enters with a book in his hand.

"Willow may have had a very helpful idea," he says. "She seems to be coping better with Oz's departure, don't you think?"

"She still has a way to go, but yeah. I think she's dealing."

Alright, I really can't keep quiet about this. These dopes are supposed to be Red's friends, and they think she's _coping_? "Are you people _blind_? She's hangin' on by a thread. Any ninny can see that."

* * *

><p>The vampire's always right. Do they acknowledge that? No.<p>

Wolf Boy called for his stuff, I hear from the Watcher. Red's depressed and can't help him perform that sodding truth spell they wanna do on me. Like it'll help; I tell the truth all the time anyway. It's whether or not I _want_ to.

"You know, I'm not too keen about this spell stuff. Tends to be unpredictable."

"You might've thought about that _sooner_." He looks at the book again, but then he starts squinting. Like he's having trouble reading.

Something's up. The Watcher doesn't usually act like this. He keeps squinting, then he tries moving the book both closer, and then further away. Then he tries taking his glasses off, and then he tries cleaning them.

Not sure what's up with him, but…

My eyes wander and I notice the key by my feet. He must've dropped it while setting up the spell. I know this lot is my only protection and my only food source, but… I can't stand this any longer. And I'm really not keen on this spell.

"Hey, what's that all about?" I ask, keeping him distracted as I place my foot over the key.

"Oh, nothing, just…err…ash in my eye."

I move the key up to my hands. "Well, I won't have you doin' mojo on me if you can't read properly. You could turn me into a stink beetle, or what all." I unlock the cuffs.

"It'll be a generous ending for you, Spike-"

I jump to my feet, push past him – ignoring the zap in my brain – and run to the door. I grab my duster before I escape the house.

I don't know where I'm going, but I keep running. I don't wanna run into those soldier boys again, and I don't wanna run into any other nasties out there; ones I used to be able to take, but can't now that I'm…

No. I'm not using _any_ of those words they used.

Alright, so maybe this isn't my greatest plan. At least I was getting fed back there; at least I was protected. But if they stopped treating me like crap and started treating me like…

Oh, who am I kidding? If I kept my trap shut and didn't back talk them, I wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe I should go back… Maybe I should…

Suddenly I'm standing right outside the Slayer's dorm building, and she's walking towards me with purpose. Wait, what? How did I get here?

She also looks mighty confused. "I thought that was gonna take longer."

"Me, too." I throw up my hands. "Must've got…turned around." I notice the ground by a tree and realize that it looks…familiar… "Hang on…" I walk towards it. She tries to grab me, but I hold up a finger. "Hang on, this is it." I kick at the grass.

But when I'm standing in the spot, it doesn't look so familiar anymore. "Wait…no." Why does everything on this campus look the same? I look at the tree again. It's branched out into two like a fork… "Wait, yes!"

"What are you talking about?"

I must look like a mad man – madder than Dru – because when I turn to her she takes a step back. "The lab. The commando lab." I point at the ground. "The door was right here! Where I escaped."

"I don't think so."

_Secret_ lab. Doesn't she get that? But looking at the ground, I see her point. The ground looks normal. I let my anger get to me and then I'm on my knees, pulling up grass. "Open up! I'm gonna kill you!"

"Spike, there's nothing there."

"Let me in!" I run out of energy and I just sit there with grass in my hands, looking even _more_ like an idiot. "Fix me."

"OK, that's it. Drop the act."

Act? Why does she think it's an…? Suddenly she's grabbing me, and because of my reflexes, I lash out. I hit her in the face, and then I feel that _lovely_ shock in my head and it hurts like hell. Then she punches me in the nose, and _all_ of my head hurts.

I let her drag me back. I can't do anything about it; fighting back is out of the question unless I wanna make my headache worse.

She throws me through the door. "Hey! Watch it!"

"One more word out of you, and I _swear_-"

"Swear what? You're not gonna _do_ anything to me! You don't have the stones!"

"Oh, I've got the stones! I've got a whole bunch of…stones!"

My eyebrows go up. "Yeah? You're all talk!"

"Giles! I accidentally killed Spike! That's OK, right?"

"Just a minute." I hear his hesitant voice in the bathroom. Is there still something wrong with his eyes?

Wait, why do I care about that?

She pushes me into a chair and I glare up at her. "When I get this thing out of my head they'll be finding your body for _weeks_."

She leans in and our faces are just inches apart. "Oh, make a move. _Please_. I'm _dying_ for a good slay."

I focus all my attention on her and I imagine all the glorious ways I'm gonna kill her once I get this thing out of my head. That good-for-nothing, stuck-up, super-bitchy…

…most radiant ray of sunshine I've ever seen. God, she's so gorgeous. Why didn't I see that before?

I stand up and place her in the seat, before getting down on my knees and taking off one of my rings. "Buffy, will you marry me?"

She looks at me in awe, and my heart leaps. She feels the same way; finally someone loves me as much as I love them! "It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say."

"Just say yes…and make me the happiest man on Earth."

There are tears in her eyes as she nods. "Oh, Spike… Of course it's yes!"

I slip the ring onto her finger and our lips meet in a fiery passion.


	6. Chapter Five: Small, to Say the Least

**Buffy**

Ew. Ew.

Ewewewewewwwww.

Spike lips. Lips of Spike.

Gross.

Cookies help take the taste away, but…

Willow owes me. Big time.

Making out with a random guy? OKish. Making out with Xander? He's my best friend and _so_ not my type, but we would've gotten past it. Making out with Giles? Creepy and weird and icky, but…

Anyone would've been better than _Spike_.

The worst part? Dawn saw everything – and seems to have gotten it in her head that Spike and I would make a great couple. I mean, seriously? We bicker all the time. How does that make us a great couple?

"Because all great couples start out hating each other."

…OK, bad choice of words.

"There's more than hating here, Dawn," I tell her. "We've been trying to _kill_ each other since day one."

"So?" She shrugs. "You guys are just more extreme than others."

"What are you _teachin'_ her?" asks Spike from where he's once again tied to a chair.

"Bad lessons," says Dawn. "Like how love comes out of nowhere and you should jump right into it without asking questions, even though it's clearly a stupid idea and people will only get hurt. Angel helped her with that lesson."

Spike snickers and I look away. When Dawn puts it that way… Giles is right; I _was_ immature when it came to Angel. I mean, his soul is a curse, and what usually breaks curses in fairy tales?

Still, there's a difference between Dawn and Giles; he's an adult and she's only a little kid. "What do _you_ know about love? You're only thirteen."

"A lot more than _you_." She rolls her eyes. "You claimed to have found the love of your life when you were _sixteen_. That's three years ahead of me. I mean, what would you say in three years' time if I came home with a guy and claimed that he's my soul mate?"

She's already made her point; does she really have to rub it in? I messed up with Angel. I get it. No happily ever afters for me. "I know, Dawn. I'd make you clean the bathroom over and over again until you admit that you need to grow up."

"I should've told Mom the moment you started dating him." Her arms cross over her chest in that sulky-teenage way. "And what's so different about Spike? Remember you hated Angel when he first showed up."

"But has a soul and he didn't try to kill me." At her raised eyebrow, I add, "Then. With the soul."

"And Spike now has something shoved into his brain which stops him from hurting people. Same dif."

"No! Not 'same dif'. Different dif. I mean… Ugh!" I throw my hands in the air. "Will you just drop this? It was a spell. Get over it."

"Can't believe I'm sayin' this, but your sister's right, Nibblet," Spike adds. "Shut your trap."

And bring on the whiny complaining. "But you guys were so _cute_ together!"

Xander spits out his cookie. "_Cute?!_"

"I concur with Xander's spit take," says Giles.

"And that's not all!" Dawn continues. "You guys can totally be _Beauty and the Beast_."

I pause, and I refuse to look at her. I remember the dream and who it focussed on. "Dawn…"

"I mean, can't you all see the similarities? Buffy's pretty, and Spike's a vampire which makes him a beast-"

"Dawn…" I remember the prophecy…

"-and there was that song! 'Barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly'. They both hated each other-"

"Dawn, please…"

"-but then they started to get along until they fell in-"

I run. I push past her and run out the open door. I don't care what it looks like to my friends, but I can't stand being around Dawn any longer.

Her words… And the dream… And the prophecy…

Why is this happening? Am I doomed to just fall in love with all the wrong guys?

* * *

><p>"And…that's pretty much it."<p>

I decide to tell Giles about the dream. I watch as he sits there thinking, contemplating what I've just told him. I can see the wheels in his head turning as he analyses the dream and its meaning.

"I can certainly understand why you ran out of here today."

I nod. "It struck a little too close to…well, you know."

"In which case, you are going to hate me for what I have discovered."

Great. More badness. Can this get any worse?

_And_ I've just jinxed the hell out of that. "Tell me, and I'll see if I hate you afterwards."

He picks up a notebook – and I realize it's the copy of the prophecy's translation that Angel gave to him. "I had a friend of mine translate the remaining verses of the prophecy. I'll…just read it."

"Refresh my memory with the rest," I say.

"Yes, of course." He clears his throat. "_In the Age of Apocalypses, Beauty shall meet the Beast. The Beast, once a man, and Beauty, once a girl. Each a killer of the others' kind, a Slayer and a Slayer of Slayers. Each with hatred only natural, Until the pain of the Father unites them. Through choice but no choice, and then twice over, Beast and Beauty will remain under roof. From monster to knight the Beast will transform. For the love of Beauty, against nature he will turn. The Beast shall earn the love the Beauty. His reward shall be Life, and the power of the Slayer._" He looks at me with a worried expression. "I'm sure you know the words that have me most troubled."

I do. Slayer of Slayers.

Spike.

And not just that. The whole 'pain of the father' thing could mean our alliance against Angelus in order to save the world – and Giles, who was being tortured. And as for being under one roof… He's here with us, 'through choice but no choice'. He didn't have a choice to come to us, but in a way, he also did.

Wiggy. Majorly so.

"I can't…"

He nods. "I know. But remember, Buffy, that prophecies can be misinterpreted and misread and not written correctly… There are many possibilities of what this could mean. And it may not even be about you and Spike at all."

I want his words to be true. Desperately. But there are no coincidences on the Hellmouth.

And my life just sucks that way.


	7. Chapter Six: Both a Little Scared

**Spike**

All I can say is at least the Watcher isn't tying me up anymore.

"Have you ever heard of a group called The Gentlemen?" he asks after getting off the phone with the Slayer. Bint had one of her Slayer dreams. Or she's just one of those types who dream up weird shit.

"The what?" I'm not really paying attention. I'm too busy poking around in his kitchen.

"The Gentlemen."

Doesn't ring a bell. "No."

"Are you certain?"

"No." I can almost hear his eye roll. "We're out of Weetabix."

"_We_ are out of Weetabix because _you_ ate it all," he says. "Again."

"Get some more." I try not to annoy the Watcher too much. It's fun, but we get along well enough, and he seems to respect my need to walk around the house now. Plus, he's not a bloody American.

Distracted by his books, he says, "I though vampires were only supposed to eat blood."

"Alright, you lot need to stop thinkin' that whatever Angel tells you is law," I tell him. "'sides, sometimes I like to crumble up the Weetabix in the blood." I grab a packet of crackers and a jar of peanut butter before bringing them into the living room, where I jump down onto the couch. "Gives it a little texture."

I don't have to look up to see the Watcher's disgust. "Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself."

"Sissy."

Then the Whelp and Demon Girl burst in uninvited – I can tell by the Watcher's sarcasm – arguing about the Whelp not caring about Demon Girl. The girl's alright, if anything because she used to be a demon. But she's really fallen from grace; not only is she dating a human, she's dating _him_.

Then she mentions orgasms, and I can't help but sit up to see the look of embarrassment on the Whelp's face. I really hate this lot, but at least they're entertaining.

"Oh, I'm not your friend," I say when he refers to me – accidentally I'd wager – as such. "Go on."

"Please don't." Why does the Watcher have to spoil my fun?

Then I find out the Watcher asked him to swing by to ask him a favour – to take me for a couple of days.

Me. Staying in the Whelp's basement. And just when I thought my unlife couldn't get any worse…

The Watcher I can put up with. Us Brits have gotta stick together. But _him?_ Is he joking? "I'm not stayin' with _him!_"

"I have a friend who's coming to town, and I would like for us to be alone," the Watcher explains.

"You mean an orgasm buddy?"

Yeah, I like this girl – even if she has no taste in men.

Seriously, can't I stay somewhere else? The Whelp's already insisting that I'm getting tied up again, and then Demon Girl's asking about their romantic evening…

"I'm not watchin' these two shag while I'm tied to a soddin' chair!" Why can't I go stay with the Slayer's mum? She was nice enough to me when I was here last time. Then again, I'd think the Slayer would probably stake me before she lets me anywhere near her house.

But it's decided, and the Whelp takes me home to his basement – and of course, he ties me up. Ties my arms, ties my legs, ties my chest… Real overkill. "I don't see why I have to be tied up." It's not like I can hurt him. If I could, he'd be dead over a hundred times over.

"It's just while I'm sleeping," he insists, but I know it's gonna be the same during the day, too. The Whelp may take shots at me because he knows I can't hit back, but he's still paranoid. It feels good.

"I can't bite you," I remind him.

"But you _would_."

"Not bloody likely." I'd kill him, but I wouldn't bite him. Then he insists upon his bite-ability, and I have to wonder if he needs to come out of the closet.

My imitation of Demon Girl makes me feel better.

* * *

><p>If there's one good thing I can say about this bloody town, it's that things are never boring.<p>

I wake up and find I can't speak, and neither can the Whelp. The Whelp blames me – no surprise there – and I give him the two fingered salute. He tries to ring someone like an idiot. Yeah, how's that gonna work, numb-brain? You can't speak. He figures it out and puts the bloody thing down, and I look at him like he's stupid.

Scratch that. I'm looking at him because he _is_ stupid.

He drags me to the Watcher's place, and soon we're all there. The Slayer and Red show up with these white boards around their necks, and while they look ridiculous, I'll admit that it's practical.

I just have a notebook with a pre-written message of 'I didn't do it'. The Slayer rolls her eyes when she sees it.

People think it's some Laryngitis epidemic. Of course we know better. The Slayers pals research while the Slayer goes out to keep order, and with a shrug I decide to pick up a book and help. I would like my voice back, thank you very much.

* * *

><p>Organ robbers, creepy white men; it's all very exciting.<p>

The Watcher drags us to a lecture room at the university and gives us a slide show of what's going on. The Gentlemen are fairy tale monsters, blah-blah-blah, need seven hearts, blah-blah-blah, steal people's voices, blah-blah-blah, only a human scream can kill them.

Like I care. I'm more interested in sharing Demon Girl's popcorn.

After the Slayer gives us all the wrong idea – why oh why am I getting hard for that girl? – the Watcher sends her out on a mission to kill the buggers with a human scream.

He decides to send me out, too.

Using my trusty notebook, I remind him that I can't hit people. He's prepared for the answer and puts another sheet onto the projector.

'I have a theory', it says. He changes sheets. 'You've only tested your inability to hurt anyone on humans'. He changes sheets again. 'You may be able to hurt demons'.

Well, that's a nice thought, and it's enough to get me to agree to go, despite being stuck with the Slayer.

Helps that she can't speak. Why can't these Gents take her voice away permanently? It'll be an improvement.

We walk down the road on the lookout, and that's when we see the bloke; all white with no hair, looking like a fleshy skeleton. Then this thing – what I can only guess to be a mummified Igor – jumps out at us. It goes for the Slayer first, and I smirk as I watch her try and handle it.

Then she gives me this look, and I roll my eyes before deciding to try and lend a hand. I yank the thing off her, and after closing my eyes and bracing for the potential pain, I hit the damn thing.

No pain.

Smirking, I hit it again. Over and over. The Slayer finds another and then we're both fighting, but I don't care about what she's doing.

I can hit the bugger. I can hurt demons.

I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal!

I break the thing's neck and turn to the Slayer. Her one sees his mate dead before he turns and runs. We give chase.

The wanker leads us to the clock tower, and the Slayer crashes through a boarded up window in order to get inside. I wait because, well, wood; misplace a piece of that and I become Mr. Big-Pile-of-Dust. We fight off some more minions until they're done, and we turn to go up the stairs.

But then we pause.

That wanker is in front of us; the one who's trying to hit it off with the Slayer. And he's dressed as a soldier.

Well, well. Looks like Miss Buffy wasn't the only one keeping secrets.

He looks at me and his face lights up in recognition, and then he looks at Buffy. He's obviously just seen us fighting together, and I can correctly guess what conclusion he's jumped to. He takes out a Taser, but the Slayer's faster; she knocks his head against a wall and he falls unconscious.

She glares at me in her usual way, just daring me to make a comment. I gesture that I kind of _can't_ at the moment, and she rolls her eyes.

We run up the stairs into the top room. Then three minions grab the Slayer and produce her to the Gentlemen while I fight off another. Once that wanker's dealt with, I turn to the Slayer. She's about to get her heart cut out.

I smirk. But then I realize that without her, I won't get my voice back. So I reluctantly tackle the Gentleman before throwing myself at the other minions. The Slayer lends a hand, like I _need_ one.

I see Buffy pointing at the table and gesturing for me to do something. I look at the table; all I see are jars of hearts, and…

A box. I make the connection and I smash it.

The Slayer screams, the Gentlemen explode, and we all go home.

I can't wait until next Tuesday.


	8. Chapter Seven: Neither One Prepared

**Buffy**

Riley's one of the commandos.

It doesn't take me long to figure out that the other TAs probably are, too.

I wonder what this could mean as I walk home to visit Mom and Dawn. I'd already made the decision before not to date Riley, but seeing that he's part of my world – he's a demon hunter of sorts like me – I wonder if I can chance it. He's obviously not normal, which was one of the issues.

But do I want a repeat of what happened with Angel? I want to love again and be loved by someone else, but after Parker, I don't know if I can stand any more heartbreak. Maybe I'm just doomed to live the typical life of a Slayer: alone until my early death at the hands of whatever beastie gets the better of me.

Added to my insecurities is the thought of what Riley and his guys are really doing. They're catching demons and vampires, but that's all they're doing; catching, not killing. And judging by what happened to Spike, they're experimenting on them. I know demons – if not all of them – are evil, and yet the thought of them being experimented on without mercy isn't comforting.

I don't like Spike, but I'm not happy at the thought of him being strapped to a table while scientists poke around inside him to see how vampires work.

It's just a matter of principle. There are animals in the world I really don't like – sharks, crocodiles, snakes, spiders – and yet I still wouldn't like it if someone decided to cut them open. It's the same with demons; no creature deserves that. Whoever these commando guys are… They may be helping me by keeping the demon population down, but what they're supposedly doing to the demons isn't right.

As I begin to walk up the front path to the house, I hear laughter from inside. I wonder what could be going on this late – it's not past Dawn's bedtime but she should still be settling down by now – and I quicken my pace to the door. Just when I'm about to put my key in the lock, I hear a deeper chuckle, too.

A very familiar deep chuckle.

I almost break the key in the lock as I force the door open, and I don't bother to close it again before I storm into the kitchen where I can hear the laughter. I pause when I reach the doorway.

Mom and Dawn are on either side of the island, but I'm more focussed on the vampire who's sat on the side behind Dawn, talking with my family as if he has a right to. OK, so he and Mom have this weird friendship with him – I wonder why she never got the memo when Angel and I pinned Spike against the counter just over a year ago – and Dawn has this freaky hero-worship going on… Added to that her determination to see Spike and I married with 2.5 kids on the way. Yeah, like _that's_ gonna happen.

From what I could hear before, Mom's talking about the gallery – probably her story she told me this morning about having an extra piece of something instead of the one she ordered, and how that's funny must be part of the mystery of Mom-humour – but everyone pauses to stare at me when I enter.

"The whirlwind of the Slayer-bitch arrives," Dawn mutters.

Mom's not happy to hear the 'B' word, even though I can tell that she subtly agrees. "Dawn!" After giving Dawn one of her Mom-looks, she turns to me. "Buffy, what's wrong?"

"_He's_ here." I glare at Spike and he just smirks, like he's _daring_ me to do anything with Mom and Dawn in the room. I don't really care. It wouldn't be the first time they've seen me slay something first hand. At least vampires aren't messy.

Mom sighs. "Buffy, I invited him in. Not that he needed the invite; it was still standing from the last time."

"T'was news for me," says Spike, his eyes never leaving mine. "I could've come in and finished you any time, Slayer. 'Course, killin' you in your sleep's no fun, so I wouldn't've done. Like it better when we're fightin'."

"Mom!" I gesture to him. The reason why he's _not_ allowed in is there, clear as day. How can she miss it? "Do you not get the whole 'he's a vampire and wants to kill me' thing?"

"He doesn't want to kill you _now_," says Mom. I notice that Spike doesn't try to correct her. "He told us that he has something in his brain which stops him from killing people. Think about the opportunity here, Buffy. I've already discussed it with Spike. He can help you with the Slaying; I'd feel much better if you patrolled with someone who's just as strong as you are."

It would be less surprising if she grew another head. "Mom, he's like a serial killer in prison; the moment his whatever-it-is comes out, he'll start killing again. As for helping me with slaying, I can handle myself. And he won't help at all; if anything he'll lead demons right to me before sitting back to watch them rip me apart."

"Honey, don't you think you're letting your prejudice of what happened with Angel get in the way?"

I bite my lip. Mom's already given me a lecture on that, added to her lecture about teenagers in love. And I get it; there're some demons out there who can love, but soulless vampires aren't among them. Whatever Spike had with Dru must've been some kind of twisted obsession, because if he really can love without his soul, then Angel never truly loved me.

And even though I understand that my relationship with him was irresponsible, it was still love. If that had meant nothing…

"You never liked Angel," I say.

"He wasn't good for you," says Mom. "We've talked about this. And I doubt you and Spike are interested in each other like that."

"They should be," says Dawn. "Spike's _way_ cooler than Angel."

I can see Spike's sudden turmoil – whether to be happy about Dawn thinking he's 'cooler' than Angel or horrified by her other implications – but I don't have turmoil of any kind.

I know I'm not getting anywhere with Mom or Dawn, so instead I turn to Spike and march over to him. "You don't get to come here. You don't get to be near my family."

"It's my house, Buffy," Mom insists. "If I want him here, he can stay here."

"The lady of the house says-"

I yank him off the side. "Yeah, well I'm the Slayer, and _I_ decide that _you_ don't come here anymore. If I even catch you on the same _street_, you'll be dust in the wind before you even know it!"

"Buffy!" Before I realize what's happening Mom is between us. "You're acting like a child! I don't care what you think of him; he's my guest, and he stays for as long as he feels like. It's bad enough that you and your friends treat him like dirt, especially when he needs you to help him adjust to his new life. I understand that he's killed people, but if someone wants to truly change, then they deserve a chance."

"And _you're_ supposed to be a _hero_, Buffy," adds Dawn. "No matter who or what Spike is, heroes don't treat people like that."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Really, _really_ can't believe it. Mom and Dawn are standing up for Spike, and they're making it look like _I'm_ the one in the wrong. Seriously, has Spike brainwashed them, or something? OK, maybe not that far, but he probably lied to them.

Soulless demons don't change. It's a simple as that.

I once again acknowledge that I won't be getting through to them anytime soon, so with a frustrated sigh, I storm out of the house and slam the door behind me.

"Stupid Spike. Why does he have to ruin my life all the time?" I mutter, curse and complain all the way back to the campus.

I don't pay attention to what's happening around me, and as a result, I don't hear a familiar voice say, "Target acquired."

I do, however, hear the sizzling of a Taser coming to life, and I turn just in time to see Riley take aim in my direction. I dodge the electrical shock he sends my way, and only then do I notice that I'm completely surrounded.

"Riley, what the hell?!" I demand.

"What are you, Buffy?" asks Riley. "You look like a human, you read as a human, and yet you possess the power of a demon."

I almost roll my eyes, but I restrain myself. Looking snarky in front of a bunch of commandos who may or may not take me in for experimentation wouldn't be the greatest idea in the world.

"Slayer. Ever heard of one?" I look around. "Seriously, you guys are demon hunters. _One_ of you must've heard of the Slayer."

"The Slayer's a myth. Scary bedtime stories demons tell to their little demon spawns." I recognize the guy who spoke as Forrest. He turns to Riley. "We need to take her in."

"No you don't." I grab the gun of the guy sneaking up on me and toss him over my shoulder. I do the same to a second who runs at me, before realizing that they're all rushing me and I won't be able to fend them all off at once despite them being human.

So I turn and run.

I hear them behind me, although I'm confident I can outrun them. And I would've done, had they not sent for back up – and had that back up not appeared right in front of me.

I back myself up against a tree. I hope that maybe they'll only take me in for questioning, and they'll see that we're essentially on the same side. Or they'll see that I'm human before they start cutting me open and experimenting on me. I try to be hopeful, but when Riley's before me with a raised Taser, any hope I have starts to fade.

Suddenly I hear a loud roar and Riley is knocked to the ground by a blur of black. Forrest raises his gun but is grabbed by the collar and the demon roars in his face before tossing him away.

I suddenly realize that the demon is Spike, and he's standing in front of me – protecting me.

He charges at the commandos and cuts through them. I wonder why he's not getting a headache, but then I realize that he _is_. I can see the pain in his eyes as he fights them off, but he doesn't relent; if anything the pain makes him stronger. I wonder why he didn't do this before. If he can ignore the pain, why did he come to us for help at all?

I see a soldier trying to call for back up, and I spring into the fight. I grab his walkie-talkie and smash it, before slamming him against the tree. I take on several of the commandos while Spike does the same. I finish by knocking out a surprised Riley, and then I turn to Spike, who is standing in the centre of the unconscious soldiers.

He looks at me through his demon face, and I can see the pain he's in. Then, with a whimper, he collapses to the ground.

I turn away. I can't look at him. I know what he's done, and I can't comprehend why.

He saved my life.

I can't leave him, so I pick him up and haul him over my shoulder. I carry him back to Giles's place, trying to understand what happened. With the way Spike's been acting towards me, he should've been happy to see me go into the same place he did. A 'see how you like it' kind of thing.

But he didn't. Instead he fought against whatever it is they put in his head and stopped the commandos from taking me in.

He saved my life.


	9. Chapter Eight: Ever Just the Same

**Buffy**

I really don't know what to think.

On the one hand this is Spike; cold-blooded killer, mass murderer, the Slayer of Slayers and the pain in my ass who just won't leave.

On the other hand he saved my life without any gain; if anything he lost out, since the obvious pain in his head keeps him out cold for hours.

It gives me enough time to start cleaning his wounds with Giles's help. My Watcher was reluctant at first until I told him what happened. I'm not sure if he believes me – I was there, and I still can't believe what I saw.

Spike made it clear that he hates me, and likewise I've made it clear that I hate him. And yet he saved me. I would've expected him to just watch those commandos take me away, but he didn't. It makes me feel bad, because had it been the other way around, I think I would've let them take him.

Added to that our argument before it happened. He had every right to just walk away.

I want to know why. Why he saved me; why he even cared at all. We haven't treated him very well – and that just makes me feel worse about this – and yet he still found it within himself to come and save me. I mean, what does that say about me and my friends as people?

Any anger I hold towards him slowly dies as I clean his wounds. He's in really bad shape because of me – because he decided to come and save me even after the way I've treated him – and even if he does go back to his usual self after he wakes up, I don't think I can bring myself to treat him like I treated him before.

Thinking back to the argument, I cringe; I can't believe I was that bitchy to him before. If someone had said those things to me and then I'd seen that same person in trouble, I wouldn't have helped them. Is a soulless vampire really a better person than I am?

I go to refill the water for the nth time, and when I come back in, I find him awake. He's wearing his demon face – to deal with the pain, most likely – and licking a wound on his arm.

I put down the fresh water and say, "Don't do that."

His yellow eyes meet with mine and he growls. I ignore the growl and take out the cloth.

"You touch me with that thing-"

"You'll what? Lick me to death?" I hold out the cloth towards his arm, but he moves it away. "I've been doing this for the past few hours, Spike. Stop being a baby and hold still."

I grab his arm and press the cloth down on his wound. A little too hard, I realize, when he growls loudly.

"Fuckin' hell, Slayer! That hurt!"

"Ugh! This was so much easier when you were unconscious!" I throw the cloth back into the water. "And if you hold still, it won't hurt!"

"Yeah, well if _you_ hadn't been such a high-strung bitch who can't handle not gettin' her own way, this wouldn't have happened!"

I'm silenced because I know he's right, and once again I'm back to being Guilty Girl. Has being the Slayer really made me that high-strung? I'm so used to giving the orders instead of taking them, and even though it was Mom…

I sigh and avoid his gaze. "You're right."

He looks at me like I've sprouted wings and his demon face fades away. "Come again?"

"I said you're right," I tell him. "Spike, you…you saved me. I…we…treated you terribly. You came to us for help because we're the heroes, and yet we didn't _act_ like heroes. Tying you up… Well, we sorta needed to do that because we weren't sure if you were telling the truth or not. But everything else – not letting you feed, calling you names, insulting you – was out of line, and we shouldn't have done that. Those things I said to you back at my house… I'm sorry. I didn't deserve to be saved after I said those things, and yet you saved me anyway."

"Yeah. Don't know what I was thinkin'."

The tone of his voice suggests that he doesn't really mean it, and I look up to meet his gaze. "Why did you save me?"

He sighs. "You heard that saying 'wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy'?"

I nod, understanding. Was his experience really that bad that he wouldn't want _me_ – the person he probably hates the most – to experience it? "Must've been worse than Hell in there."

"I'll admit, I was unconscious for most of my stay," he says. "But the bits I saw… Yeah. It was bad. And the thought of a girl like you bein' in there… Look, you're a thorn in my side, Summers, but you don't deserve _that_." He nods over to the water, and taking the hint I grab the cloth again. "'Sides, I like your mum and sis, and they would've been mighty upset had you been captured."

Somehow I know he's telling the truth; that he likes Mom and Dawn. "Hold still. This might sting a little." I gently press the cloth to his wound; he winces, but doesn't fuss. "And…thanks. For saving me, and all."

"You're welcome, Slayer."

* * *

><p>I call Mom and Dawn when I know Spike can handle it. If they're fondness of him is anything like I've seen so far, I know they'll be crowding him.<p>

When they arrive, Dawn hurries over and after giving him a tight hug as a 'thank you' for saving me, she starts pulling his ear about school while also producing a large cooler filled with blood.

Mom also gives her thanks but she doesn't crowd him. Instead she goes into the kitchen with Giles and gestures for me to follow. I do, but not before looking back at my friends, remembering their reactions to Spike saving me.

Willow was hesitant at first, but she seems to have jumped on the Spike train with Dawn. Xander was difficult and still is, but he's not as bad as before; he acknowledges that Spike saved me, and that's enough for now.

I meet Mom and Giles in the kitchen and I can see the worried look on Mom's face. "What's wrong?"

"It's those commandos, dear," she says.

Giles nods. "They came after you once, Buffy. They will certainly try again."

"Which is why," Mom says, "I've suggested to Mr. Giles that all of us travel out of state for a Christmas vacation."


	10. Chapter Nine: Ever a Surprise

**Spike**

It kind of feels like most of my unlife has just been a blur of bloodshed and gore. Which it has, in a way. What I mean is it doesn't feel like I lived it; like it was some kind of hallucination or dream while in reality I never changed at all.

I was always the vampire who was never really a vampire; just a love-struck fool who will do anything for the woman he loves. I changed because Dru wanted me to. And because I was always being compared to bloody Angelus; he was always better than me, and I wanted to be the better vamp. I wanted to be worthy of Dru instead of falling into the shadow of her precious "Daddy".

But now…I think I'm changing back, and not just because of Joyce's suggestion that I use my new "disability" to help out.

When Bitchy the Vampire Slayer storms out, Joyce and the Nibblet start talking about how the Slayer's never been the same since Angel broke her heart, and how she's always taken out that heartbreak on other vampires no matter what their intentions are. I just so happen to be her latest victim.

It gets to me. I know what it's like to have a broken heart, and taking that into account, I understand why the Slayer has a bloody problem with me other than the usual "soulless demon" excuse. I don't know why, but I decide to catch up with her and bloody apologize. For what, I don't know; it just feels like the right thing to do. And I don't want Joyce or the nibblet to lose the Slayer over this. Only when I catch up with her, I see her being cornered by those commando boys.

Now, normally I would walk away from this. But…I start thinking about that place underground and how those scientists treat demons down there. Demons have feelings, but they're tough; they can handle torture for a long time. I learnt that the hard way with Angelus.

Someone like the Slayer… She's tough too, but she's human. Her emotions can only take so much. And having already worked herself up, and still heartbroken over my wanker of a grandsire… Her getting caught by these boys is the last thing she needs. I hate her guts, but that white lab isn't something I'd wish upon my worst enemy.

Of course, there's the problem of the whatsit-thing they shoved into my brain, but I'm beyond caring. I charge and tackle the first commando I see. It hurts like a bitch, but I keep going. I need to get these guys away from her, or at least distract enough of them so she can take down the others.

I work with the pain. I make it part of me. Soon it doesn't bother me at all. And in no time at all, the Slayer and I have them all knocked unconscious. That's when I join them in the land of darkness myself.

When I wake up the Slayer is treating my wounds. There's a bit of arguing over the treatment of one wound on my arm, but that ends with something I never expected to hear from the blonde bitch.

An apology.

I think for a moment that the world is ending. Or I'm dead for real.

But it's not, and she means it. She apologizes for her treatment of me when I came to them for help – about time she acknowledges how wrong her treatment was – and for saying those things to me back at her house. She thanks me for saving her life.

I'm surprised at this new side of the Slayer, but not in an unpleasant way. The seething hatred for her begins to fade, and see above for my thoughts on changing back to how I was before. It's the thing in my head that's doing it; forcing me to spend time in human company and reconnect with the man I once was.

And I'm not entirely against the idea.

* * *

><p>I knew Joyce was the smart one out of this lot. Well, she's the smartest in having the most common sense, anyway.<p>

"I'm not having my baby going out to protect humankind when there are men out there trying to capture her," says the woman. "We need time away in order for things to calm down."

"I suppose I could contact the Council," says the Watcher.

The Slayer doesn't like the sound of that; I can tell by her face screwing up distastefully. "Do we _have_ to bring them into this? I don't work for them anymore, remember?"

"Yes, and the only reason they haven't tried to bribe you back is because you are still performing your duty," the Watcher explains. "If they hear of a group trying to prevent you from carrying out that duty – as well as taking a personal interest in you – they will do whatever they can to stop that from happening."

"Or use _that_ as a bribe to get me back."

The Watcher sighs. "That may be the case, but I doubt they will take the risk. The Slayer line does not run through you anymore, so should you die no Slayer would take your place. The Council would have to wait until Faith wakes up, and since that is indefinite…"

I see a distant, guilty look come over the Slayer, and I find myself feeling for her. I heard about the rogue Slayer. Sounds like my kind of girl, but… The Slayer almost killed her, if sources are correct. Killing a human isn't something the Slayer's used to doing.

"But until then, we need to be away from here," says Joyce. "Now, a friend of mine owns a cabin in Colorado; it's large with six bedrooms, and she told me that I'm free to use it whenever I feel like. She owes me a favour."

"So can we all come?" asks the Slayer.

Joyce nods. "If Willow and Xander want to come, that is?"

Red smiles. "My parents don't celebrate Christmas, and they've planned to go away this year, anyway. I'm free."

"And I make a point to avoid all my family gatherings," says the Whelp. "Hey, could Anya come, too? She doesn't have a family, and she'll be on her own otherwise. She can share my bedroom if that's easier."

"Of course," says Joyce.

"Um…" Red looks hesitant. "Is…is it OK if I bring a friend, too? It's just… I met this girl in my Wicca group; her name's Tara, and she was planning on staying in the dorms for the holidays. She…doesn't really get on well with her family. She'll be all alone, too. I know you guys don't really know her, but…"

"Wills, it's fine," says the Slayer. "She's welcome. Anyone who needs it is welcome."

"Including the bleached menace?" The Whelp jerks his thumb at me. I knew saving the Slayer wouldn't be enough for him; he at least acknowledges it, but he hasn't stopped looking at me like he expects me to kill everyone at any given moment.

Which, I realize, I could. I was able to get by the pain when fighting those commandos. But…with all of them except the Whelp actually treating me decent-like now, I find that I don't particularly want to hurt them anymore.

The Slayer is the first to come to my defence, and it will never cease to amaze me. "He saved me from possible experimentation. Plus, they'll be looking for him, too. We can't just leave him here."

"But with only six bedrooms…" Joyce looks at us as she counts, and I count, too. Joyce is one, the Watcher is two, the Slayer is three, the Nibblet is four, the Whelp and Demon Girl are five, Red is six…

"Tara can sleep with me in my room," says Red. "I think she'll like it better than being alone. You know, being with someone she knows."

My eyebrow rises as I wonder if there's more to that than meets the eye…

"But that just leaves Spike," the Nibblet speaks up.

I shrug. "I'll take the couch. I've slept in worse places in my existence."

"If you're sure." Joyce smiles. "So it's decided. I'll call my friend, book flights, and we'll leave as soon as we can."

* * *

><p>'As soon as we can' turns out to be two days later. That friend of Joyce is perfectly fine with us using the cabin, and flights are easy enough to book. Joyce, bless her heart, books a night-time flight so I won't have to worry about Mr. Sunshine.<p>

Other arrangements include packing, getting off school and college, and I make sure I still have my most recent fake passport. An hour before we leave Red shows up with a sweet blonde who avoids eye contact will all of us except for Red herself. Shy, but nice; she notices that I'm a vamp instantly and yet she doesn't hold that against me. I'm calling her Glinda from now on.

A large taxi picks us up from the Watcher's place, and soon we're on our way. I sit between Joyce and the Nibblet, being the only two people I feel comfortable around.

Then I discover I'm gonna be sitting next to the Slayer on the plane.


	11. Chapter Ten: Ever as Before

**Buffy**

Mom so totally put me next to Spike on purpose. OK, so I don't really hate him anymore, but it's still…awkward.

And we don't even have Dawn sat between us. She wanted the window seat, despite the fact that there's nothing to see out the window; it's too dark. Then again, at least she has something to lean against other than me when she drifts off to sleep.

Spike and I sit in silence. I glance across at the three seats on the other side, where Mom, Giles and Anya are sat. Like Dawn, Mom has a window seat and has fallen asleep. Next to her is Giles, who is in a discussion with Anya about types of demons and their dimensions. Of course Giles would be interested in stuff like that.

In front of them are Willow, Tara and Xander. Tara has the window seat and keeps looking out of it, whenever Willow – who's sat next to her – isn't talking to her. Xander keeps trying to listen to their witchy talk, but he's practically half asleep. The fact that everyone's so tired makes me wish we didn't get a flight so late.

But I know why Mom did it, and I can't really disagree with her.

Next to me Spike shifts, and I look to see him writing in a notebook. He's writing… Is that poetry?

"What'cha got there?" I ask.

He immediately covers the book and tries to hide it. "Nothin'. It's just…"

"A poem?"

"Not mine," he says. "Just one I remember from my youth."

"Can I see?"

He sighs before handing the book to me, and I'm glad when I see that I can understand it unlike a lot of old poems:

_Your eyes two will slay me suddenly;_

_I may the beauty of them not sustain,_

_So woundeth it throughout my hearte keen._

_And but your word will healen hastily_

_My hearte's wounde, while that it is green,_

_Your eyes two will slay me suddenly;_

_I may the beauty of them not sustain._

_Upon my truth I say you faithfully_

_That ye bin of my life and death the queen;_

_For with my death the truthe shall be seen._

I can't help but wonder if it means anything; why he's writing it now with me sitting next to him… It's the word 'slay' that makes me think that.

"It's pretty," I say.

"Far better than any rot I wrote."

I look at him then with wide eyes. "You wrote _poetry_?"

He bites his lip and I can see that he's trying to hold his temper. "Bleedin' hell. No one's s'posed to know that. But now the cat's out of the bag… Yeah, Slayer. I was an utter ponce and I wrote sappy poetry to get a lady's attention."

That's…actually pretty cute. Sweet and, dare I say it, adorable. Three words I never thought I'd ever associate with Spike, and I'd doubt he'd appreciate it if I called him any of them. But he looks so worried about what my reaction might be, and I have to say something to encourage him.

"You know girls like men who can be sensitive." OK, so maybe that was the wrong thing to say since 'sensitive' is almost as bad as the other three…

He tilts his head. "Really?"

"Men crying. It's a turn on," I say. "Um… Were you any good?"

He looks away. "Not really. I learnt that the hard way."

I wonder if his attempt at poetry has anything to do with the fact that he's now a vampire.

* * *

><p>It's still night when we reach Colorado. I feel cold just <em>looking<em> at the snow outside. I try to forget about the last time I saw snow, and how it was the very thing that stopped Angel from killing himself.

How does that feel like a lifetime ago? Probably because I've grown up since then.

Despite the late hour, there's a mall right next to the airport which is still open. That's where we go to shop for our winter gear and also to do our Christmas shopping, since we never really got a chance back in Sunnydale. Hurry to leave, and all. We probably won't get everything we want this year, but at least we're all together, and in a place which feels more like Christmas than ever before. These guys in Colorado really go all out with the decorations.

Once we're done with the winter gear, we separate for the Christmas shopping part. I find this mystical shop where I buy some witchy charms for Willow and Tara; I assume that Tara is into the same stuff, being from Willow's Wicca group, and all. I buy Anya a pendant from the same store, since I have nothing else to go on. And she used to be a demon, so probably likes this stuff, too.

While buying a new top for Dawn, I spot a little black jacket which would be perfect for slaying. Tight enough so it won't get in my way, a dark colour so stains won't show up, not too thick that it'll be too hot but thick enough that it'll also keep me warm, and best of all, it'll look good on me. But with not much money, I decide to leave it.

The book shop is next, where I get a joke book for Xander – I hope he doesn't think it's a subtle hint that he needs better jokes. I get the new romance novel Mom's been after, and I find a demon-y type book for Giles. I just hope it's not some knock-off with false facts in it – and if it is I can just pass it off as a joke present.

I'm about to walk up to the till when I see something that catches my eye. A book of poetry, pretty nice looking. It also comes with a notebook and pen; 'for inspiration', so it says on the label. It's expensive, but… I think of Spike and his sadness about his poetry on the plane. I pick up the book and add it to my pile of purchases.

Besides, what else can I get him? New hair gel?

* * *

><p>On the outside the cabin looks like any traditional cabin would; all made of logs with a chimney obviously attached to an open fire place. But on the inside, it's all very modern and new. And also big; big enough so that every bedroom has a double bed. There's even a large Christmas tree already set up in the corner of the living room.<p>

I love Mom's friend, whoever she is.

We get settled in, and Mom tells us that she and Giles will be taking one of the hired cars out the next day in order to get some shopping and stock up. She also promises to find a local butcher in order to get Spike some blood. He nods but doesn't say anything; he just looks overwhelmed by everything, and I can't blame him. We're all overwhelmed.

But when I find him still awake at one in the morning, I know there's something else to it.

"Spike?" I sit down next to him. "You've got a misty look in your eyes. What's up?"

He looks surprised that I've come to sit with him. Then he turns away and sighs. "It's just… No one's every treated me like this, not even when I was alive. It was just me and my mum and a couple of the servants, but they were paid, and… It's just different, is all."

And welcome back, Guilty Conscience. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," he says. "I know why you treated me like you did, and part of me doesn't blame you. I'm a creature you loathe; I tried to kill you. Granted, I think you went a bit too far with the insults, and the chains in the bath tub were a little overkill…"

I laugh. "Yeah, I know. But I _am_ sorry."

"I know." That misty, 'oh-my-god-this-is-really-happening-to-me' look doesn't go away.

I really don't know why I make the decision or even how I arrive at it, but before I know it, I'm taking his hand in mine and leading him to my bedroom. If no one has ever treated him like this before, then the couch is not a good place for him. He deserves to sleep in a bed.

"Slayer…" He figures out what I'm doing when we reach the bedroom and I shut the door. "I don't think this is a good idea…"

"It's fine," I tell him. "It's a big bed, Spike. We can both fit. Besides, Willow and Tara are sharing a bed, and it means nothing to them."

I can see that Spike wants to comment on that, but he decides not to. "I doubt your Watcher would like it, or the Whelp."

"This isn't Xander's bed. It's _my_ bed," I tell him. "And while Giles is the closest thing I have to a father, that doesn't mean he runs my life. Spike, it's completely fine, and nothing has to come from it."

"What if I tell you I snore?"

"You may choose to breathe, Spike, but vampires can't snore."

"You're not gonna take 'no' for an answer, are you?"

"Nope." I climb under the covers and face the opposite wall. "If I hear that door open, I'll be dragging you back in here."

Eventually I feel the other side of the bed dip down, and I smile.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Ever Just as Sure

**Spike**

My senses wake me as the sun rises, warning me to seek shelter from the harmful rays. Of course I don't need to; I'm already inside, in bed with a warm soft body in my arms…

Wait.

My eyes snap open and I realize that at some point in the night, Buffy and I moved closer together. Now my arms are around her and her back is too my chest, spooned gracefully against me. It's almost like she belongs there; like we fit. We're like to halves of the same entity…

No. Stop. This is bad. She's gonna stake me when she wakes up…even though sharing a bed was her idea to begin with…

Too late do I hear her heart rate pick up and realize that she's awake. I quickly remove my arms before she has the chance to say something. "Sorry, sorry. We must've…rolled, or…something…"

She turns over to face me. "That's my bad. I move a lot in the night. Sleepy sub-conscious me must've decided that you make a great snuggle buddy."

This woman's grip on the English language can be both infuriating and adorable. "So you don't have a stake waitin' ready for me under your pillow?"

"No, that's dangerous," she says. "I keep mine under the bed within arms' reach."

"How comfortin'."

She giggles before sitting up to stretch. "Ew. Stay away from me; I have bad breath."

I decide not to mention that I can smell it from where I'm sat. "So how do we wanna do this? I leave first and sneak back to the couch?"

She shrugs before looking at the clock. It's 7:30. "Xander will still be asleep, and he's the only one you really have to worry about. I can talk Giles down. I don't think the others other than him and Mom will be up yet; it's too early."

"Right. I'll make my swift exit then." I leave the room quickly and quietly. On my way through the hall, I listen to all the doors to check who's up and who's not; the Whelp and Demon girl are still sleeping, as are Red and Glinda. I don't hear anything from the Watcher's room or Joyce's, which doesn't surprise me. The Nibblet's room is quiet too, which _does_ surprise me. Aren't teenagers supposed to sleep until noon?

I almost make it to the couch when a voice stops me. "Morning, Spike."

I turn to look at the kitchen and see the Nibblet sat at the breakfast bar with a bowl of cereal. Well, I guess there's no hiding from her where I was last night. Then again, she'd probably be alright with it. She was the one who kept spewing out all that 'Beauty and the Beast' crap.

"Mornin', Nibblet." I abandon the couch and instead walk into the kitchen to join her. "Didn't think we had food."

"Mom got breakfast stuff at the airport last night," she says. "She packed a couple packets of blood in her suitcase, too. They're in the fridge."

"Thanks." I take out a packet before placing it into the microwave.

The Nibblet watches me carefully, and I know the question is coming. "Why were you in Buffy's room? And before you start denying it, you wouldn't be anywhere else. I'm not stupid, you know."

"I know you're not," I say. "And we weren't doin' anything naughty, you here? Your sis just thought it'd be kinder to let me sleep in a bed rather than on the couch. I tried to tell her differently, but she wouldn't have it."

"She feels bad about being mean to you," says the Nibblet. "Not sure how long _that'll_ last, since she's normally a first class bitch."

I raise my eyebrow. "You use language like that 'round your mum?"

She rolls her eyes. "How dumb do you think I am? Besides, all the girls at school know the word. I'm not in pre-school."

"You were when I first saw you."

"I wasn't _that_ young. I was eleven." Then she smirks. "And I _still_ kicked your ass."

"Language." But I smirk anyway. I can still remember it; there I was about to finish off the Slayer when Joyce comes along with an axe and whacks me with it. And then along came the Nibblet who felt the need to kick me repeatedly until I scrambled away.

Back then I thought it was embarrassing. But now I know that I shouldn't expect anything less from the Summers women.

"Oh, by the way," she says, "I think Giles wants to have words with you when he gets back."

I cringe. "I can only imagine why. Where's he gone?"

"With Mom to get shopping," she replies. "She told us yesterday, remember?"

I do. I think sleeping next to the Slayer has permanently turned my brain into a muddled mess. "Right, well I'll be off to hide in the closest and away from the Watcher-"

She laughs. "I don't think he's mad. He's just…cautious. I'm sure you remember the _last_ time Buffy got involved with a vampire."

Like I could forget. It's what got me into this mess in the first place, though I'm finding that I'm minding my situation less and less. I also recall the reaction of the Watcher when Angelus killed his girlfriend – that's why I'm going to go hide in the closet.

Then it processes what the Nibblet's said. "We're not gettin' involved, or anything like that. Don't rightly know what's goin' on between me and the Slayer."

"I've already told Buffy; it's _Beauty and the Beast_. If you've heard the song-"

"I've heard the soddin' song." And I'm not liking the comparisons. It's a little _too_ close to our situation. No wonder the Slayer ran out that time.

She sulks. It's pretty adorable. "You don't have to be so moody about it. I'm just pointing it out."

I go to apologize – I like the Nibblet and she didn't deserve me snapping at her – but then the microwave finishes and I take out the blood. And then the Slayer shows up and the conversation ends.

Her hair is all wet and she smells like soap… Oh hell, am I in trouble…


	13. Chapter Twelve: As the Sun Will Rise

**Buffy**

When I wake up I feel Spike's cool arms around me, and it feels…nice. Which wigs me out a little; that my first reaction isn't to jump away in disgust or stake him. I mean, I don't really hate him anymore, and it's probably my fault that we're in this position, but…he's still a vampire.

And yet that excuse is getting weaker by the day.

I try to play it casual by turning over to greet him, well, casually, but I can't ignore the look of shock on his face – and I certainly can't ignore the implications to the prophecy. The fact that I'm not against what it implies anymore just gives me bigger wiggins.

I escape into the shower. I try to imagine cleansing myself of Spike like I did before after Willow's spell, but I can't imagine it anymore. I can't even bring myself to scrub that hard, because while I don't want to admit it, I want the Spike-smell to linger.

Maybe I'm just desperate for affection from another man; it's the reason I fell for Parker so easily. And yet he didn't stick around in the bed for very long. Then there's Angel; I remember back to my innocent visits after patrol where I would fall asleep in his bed and he'd put his arms around me while I imagined having a life with him. It's a life I now know isn't possible, even if he turned human again or found a way to secure his soul.

But what really hit me when I woke up this morning was a single feeling: safety. I felt safe in Spike's arms, far safer than I ever felt in Angel's, and not just because of the chip.

It's something about the way he held me; like I was his lifeline, the most precious thing in the world. It's a big comparison to Angel, who always held me at arm's length like he was afraid he'd kill me at any moment. And honestly, he could have done; I got a first-hand experience at just how close to the surface his demon really is. Spike's demon, on the other hand…

It's like his demon is part of him; like he's learnt to balance out his demon half and his human half – a half which shouldn't even be _there_ – with the latter calming the former. Spike was never as evil as Angelus, and I know it; some demons are just different.

Although I've never met a vampire quite like Spike.

I climb out of the shower and get dressed. Then I make for the kitchen, where I find Spike and Dawn already having breakfast; Dawn has some cereal that Mom brought last night while Spike has a packet of blood he's just about to tear into. I notice Spike giving me a strange look, but it's gone faster than it came.

Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara aren't up yet, and I guess that Mom and Giles are already gone.

"Morning, Dawn," I greet my sister. I nod to Spike.

Dawn smirks, and I guess why. She probably already noticed that Spike wasn't asleep on the couch last night. "Morning. Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yep," I reply, trying not to tempt her. I can't give her the fuel she needs for the merciless teasing she's bound to give me.

But of course she doesn't need fuel. "Will I have to play my music really loud tonight?"

Spike – who's reaching for a bowl in the cupboard – almost drops it. Since I'm used to Dawn's teasing, I'm not affected. "Unless Xander and Anya decide to play games, no, I don't think you will."

"Xander and Anya… Ew." She screws her face up in disgust and drops the subject. Serves her right.

I pour myself some cereal and sit down at the breakfast bar. Spike sits at the opposite end with a bowl full of blood – and why is he using a bowl instead of a mug? – before slipping into his game face. He picks up the bowl and begins to slurp the blood down like an animal.

Dawn's gagging brings him to attention, and I show him my disgusted face. I mean, really? Does he have to do that at the breakfast table?

It's Dawn who pushes a spoon towards him, and after sighing, he takes it. Only when he uses it, he still makes growly noises and the spoon doesn't fit in his mouth while he's in game face. This just makes Dawn giggle, and I stop myself from giggling, too.

I sigh, before I put down my spoon and pick up my bowl. I show him what I'm doing before carefully bringing it up to my lips and drinking from it. His eyes brighten up and he does the same, not as messily this time. Meeting in the middle; that's how we make friends, right?

Then Dawn starts humming, and it takes me a minute to recognize the song. _There may be something there that wasn't there before…_ And only then do I look back at the whole bowl-drinking thing and remember where it came from.

Was the person who wrote the prophecy a fan of Disney, or something?

* * *

><p>When everyone's awake, Mom and Giles get back with the shopping, and it's when I see Giles glare at Spike that it dawns on me that he knows exactly where he was last night. And seeing as Giles is practically my dad and taking into account what happened the last time I got involved with a vampire…<p>

Not that Spike and I are getting involved… No 'getting involved' feelings here. But Giles doesn't know that.

I pull him aside before he can produce a stake out of nowhere. "Giles, I know what you're gonna say, but… I made the decision and nothing happened. We just slept…in the same bed."

"In the same bed? I was under the impression that he slept on the floor." The glare gets worse and yep, now he's taking off his glasses and cleaning them. Why can't I keep my mouth closed? "And I'm curious to hear how you came to such a decision."

"I was talking to him last night, and he admitted that no one's every treated him like this before," I tell him. "This…nicely, even when he was alive. I just thought he deserved better than sleeping on the couch, that's all, especially after how I treated him. It was innocent, like Willow and Tara."

It looks like he wants to say something to that, but he chooses not to. Seriously, am I missing something about Willow and Tara? "Forgive me for being concerned, Buffy, but have you forgotten the prophecy?"

"No, I haven't," I say. "And I thought you said that prophecies can be misinterpreted, misread, not written correctly, and that it might not even be about me and Spike at all…"

He looks at Spike again. "Recent events have proved otherwise. Buffy, if the prophecy does indeed mean yourself and Spike, there is cause for concern."

I hesitate. "Well…"

"Buffy?"

"Is there?" I tell him. "I mean, I was freaking out before because Spike was all evil and gross and icky, but now… He saved my life, and he's…different. He's not the vampire I thought he was, and… Seeing him now, I can't really find any fault in him. If…if the prophecy really is talking about us…is it really that bad, seeing him now?"

Giles just looks at me with that disbelieving look of his, and then looks over at Spike again before turning back to me. "While I know that this is your choice…I am still concerned. I told you before that fairy tales do not exist in the real world, no matter what the prophecy says. It will not be easy if you wish to go down this road."

"I know," I tell him. "And I'm not declaring my undying love for him, or anything. I'm just gonna try the friendship road. That's OK, right?"

"If this goes the way I'm suspecting it will, that will not last long."

I don't want to agree with him, but I know, deep down, that he's right.

* * *

><p>Being out in the snow is a new experience. There was that magic snow last year, but it wasn't much and it wasn't even that cold. Now it's freezing and the snow is a lot deeper.<p>

Mom and Giles stay inside while the rest of us venture out. Xander and Dawn build a snowman with Anya acting as supervisor (a name she gives herself "as an excuse to be bossy" according to Dawn) while Willow and Tara find a group of birds to feed. One even lands in Tara's hand.

I'm content to watch, and so is Spike. He looks so out of place, just being out in his usual clothes while we're all dressed in winter gear. Being a vampire is a bad thing and I _so_ wouldn't want to be turned anytime soon…but being able to go out in freezing temperatures like this and not feel a thing has to come in handy.

I see his open collar, and then I see the snow in the branches above him. I smirk when I get an idea.

I make snowball ready for the inevitable outcome, before I find a long, sturdy stick. Then, carefully so he doesn't notice, I direct the stick into the branches over his head before shaking with all my might. A heap of snow drops down onto him – most of it falling down his neck.

He jumps away, swearing, and I laugh. "Oi! That's not funny, Slayer!" He turns to me, and I throw the snowball at his face. A direct hit.

"Looks funny from where I'm standing."

"Oh, you've done it now, missy."

He bends down to gather snow, making a large snowball. I hide behind the tree and wait for him to try and throw it at me, and when he takes aim – holding the giant snowball above his head – I throw another smaller one. It hits him directly in the face, causing him to drop the large one on his head.

With a playful growl he runs at me, and I hurry around the tree to avoid him, laughing. The others are staring at us, but I don't care; I'm having way too much fun.

I run down the slope of the yard, and he catches up to me. He grabs my coat, but as he does, we both trip and end up rolling down the hill together. I'd comment on just how clichéd this whole thing is if I wasn't laughing and accidentally swallowing snow on the way down. At least it's just frozen water – and at least it's all white.

And just to add to the whole clichéd fun, when we finally stop at the bottom I land on top of Spike with my face inches away from his. Picking myself off him casually would be the best way to end this, but…I can't help but stare into his blue eyes which fit so perfectly with the white snow around him.

"Think you won, Slayer," he says, trying to act casual, but I can tell that he's just as taken with me as I am with him. "Wanna go another round? I'll give you a head start."

I smirk, pushing aside the sudden urge to kiss him. "You think I need a head start?"

"You're right. You don't." He suddenly grabs me and flips us over so I'm under him, before he begins to stuff snow down my neck which gets me laughing once more.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Tune as Old as Song

**Spike**

Never thought I'd ever welcome the electrical shocks in my brain and the searing headache that comes with them, but it's not about me; it's about Glinda realizing that she's not a demon.

There isn't an ounce of demon in that girl, and her family should be ashamed of themselves for making her think that.

I was in the kitchen when she started telling her story, and at first I felt for her; being in a world that hates you before finding a place to belong with people that care about you. But when she mentioned that only the women in her family had demon in them… I knew something was up. So I walked in and pinched her arm.

And now everyone's staring at me like I've grown another bloody head.

"What?" I say. "I've just proved she's not a demon. Hell, I can tell there's no demon in her just by _lookin'_ at her. Girl like her is pure as they come. Last person to 'ave a demon in her."

Red looks between her girl and me. "You…you pinched her."

"And it hurt me. You're welcome."

"Th-thank y-you," says Glinda, smiling at me shyly. If I hadn't already figured out that she bats for the other team, I'd say she has a crush on me.

I go outside for a smoke, and a few minutes later Buffy joins me. She's wrapped her coat around her, but I can tell she's still cold. If I had any warmth to give, I'd give it to her. But vampire, yeah?

"Thank you," she says. "You…you didn't have to do that, but you did. You hurt yourself to help her. It's like what you did for me, all over again."

"Like the girl," I tell her. "Sweet lil' thing. Don't deserve to believe the rot her family told her."

"You still helped her, at some considerable pain to yourself, as well," she says. "I know some humans who wouldn't have done that. And…the others are grateful, too. They just have trouble showing it. Still getting used to the whole 'you're not our enemy anymore' thing."

"I get it."

I expect her to go back inside, but she doesn't. I look out over the yard, remembering our little game a couple of days before when we had a snow ball fight, had a bit of a rough and tumble, I heard her laugh for the first time…

Is it possible to fall in love with someone's laugh? 'Cause her laugh's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

I let her lean against me, and I put an arm around her as we stare out into the night together.

* * *

><p>Being a demon, I never really celebrated Christmas. But this lot do, and since they've been so nice to me, I decided back at the airport that I should thank them by joining their celebrations.<p>

I got them gifts, all of them. Red and Glinda were easy enough; a couple of charms for whatever witchy stuff they like to get up to. Got Joyce some bath soaps and the Watcher a new novelty mug, since his one has blood stains in it. Got a joint present for the Whelp and Demon Girl; a little something from the Adult store which gets Demon Girl excited and turns the Whelp pale. Got the Nibblet some chocolate, and I hope Mum won't be angry at me when she starts bouncing off the walls…

I watch in anticipation when the Slayer opens her gift from me.

I saw her eyeing a jacket in one of the stores, only to walk away disappointed when she noticed that she didn't have the money for it. Seeing her like that… I wanted to take that look away and replace it with a smile, so once she was out of sight, I went in a brought the thing for her.

She opens it and her eyes widen, before she looks at me. She's in shock and doesn't know what to say…but then she smiles, and I don't blame her for keeping quiet about it. I can see how happy she is; she doesn't have to come and hug me in front of her friends…

Wait, she's actually…

I'm engulfed in a hug before I realize what she's doing. "Thank you, Spike! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Whoa! Did we just get transported to an alternate reality?" I ignore the Whelp.

All I know is the Slayer in my arms, hugging me so tightly, so happy that I got her what she wanted… Seeing her happy makes _me_ happy and that's really all that matters. The feel of her in my arms and her hair burying my nose in her sweet scent is just an added bonus, really…

"What'd he get you?" The Nibblet's question pulls Buffy away from me, and she _squeals_ – yes she _squeals_ – like a typical teenage girl when she sees it. "Oh my god! That's so cute! I'll have to steal that one night!"

"Nuh uh. All mine." She hugs it close to her and I can't wipe the smile off my face for the world.

I didn't really expect many presents, so I'm surprised to get some. The witches got me some pendant which gives me protection from 'bad spirits' or something like that. Joyce and the Nibblet get me some hair gel – they didn't know what else I like, and I can't say that I blame them. And the Watcher – with the Whelp and Demon Girl's names attached, probably at the last minute – gets me a novelty mug of my own. 'Keep Calm and Suck It'. I laugh.

Then I get to Buffy's present for me. It feels like a book – a few books actually – and I open it. And for a minute I just sit there staring.

It's a book of poetry – with a notebook and a pen so I can write my own.

I don't know what to say, and I hope my expression of shock and awe is enough of a 'thank you' to her.

I go back to it after dinner; I sit alone in the living room when the others have gone to bed, and almost sub-consciously, I open the book and do what I haven't done in over a century.

I write poetry – about _her_. I write about her golden hair, her emerald eyes, and the curves of her body…

I write about her courage, her bravery, her strength, her skills, how she fights, who she is, how she tries, the best and the worst of her, how she loves with all her heart…

How I love _her_ with all my heart…

Sometime after midnight I turn to see her watching me with a smile on her face. She doesn't ask to hear what I've written; she understands that it's private and that I'll show it to her when I'm ready, if I decide to show it to her at all. Instead she takes my hand in hers and leads me towards her bedroom.

It's what she's been doing every night since we got here.

Nothing happens; it's all innocent. We just lie there in the same bed. We start off apart, but during the night we always come together and that's how we wake up; curled up in one another's embrace.

Every night since we got here…has been the best night of my life.

* * *

><p>It's on the last day of our little vacation that things turn bad again.<p>

"I've just had a call from the Council," says the Watcher, turning to Buffy. "Faith woke up during the holidays and she's run off."


	15. Chapter Fourteen:Bittersweet and Strange

**Buffy**

I knew facing Riley – or any of the commandos – would be inevitable. I expected another showdown in the middle of the night, so I'm surprised when instead, Riley shows up at my dorm with an apologetic expression.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says, raising his arms in surrender. "I just want to talk about what happened."

"You mean when you tried to capture me like an animal?" I ask, preventing him from entering.

"We thought you were a demon," he explains. "With the way you fought, your strength and the fact that you were with Hostile 17-"

"Then _ask_ me," I tell him. I bite back my remark that they shouldn't be treating demons like that, either. It'll just make things worse, I know. "I thought the army was better than the capture first, ask questions later approach?"

He lowers his head. "I know. I'm – _we're_ – sorry. _Please_ can you let me explain?"

I know it's probably a bad idea, but I let him in anyway. When I close the door the room is silent for a minute, but then Riley begins pacing and all I can do is watch. Is he going to start explaining, or will I have to start breaking things? Him being here is driving me insane.

"We researched over the holidays," he finally tells me. "You're something called a Slayer?"

"Good guess," I tell him. "And you're part of some military monster squad that captures and experiments on demons like they're nothing more than animals?"

"They're _demons_. Hostile Sub-Terrestrials."

God, they even have code names for them. "They have feelings," I tell him. "You'd know that if you've been doing this gig as long as I have." I don't tell him that this view of the world is new for me too, and only came about because he and his guys decided to try and take me in.

He ignores me. Doesn't like being told he's wrong, I see. What a jerk. "I read up on the Slayer all over the holidays, and… You're amazing. Your speed, your strength; I haven't seen anything like it. You _whaled_ on those guys."

"I'm also passionate, artistic and inquisitive," I say. Before all he saw was just Buffy the girl. Now all he sees is the Slayer. I'm the same person, and already I can tell that he doesn't get that.

The total opposite of someone else I know…someone he captured and experimented on…

"Sorry," he says, and I wonder if he means it.

"So what are you doing here, Riley?" I ask him. "If that's even you're real name. Have you even _been_ to Iowa?"

"I have. Born and raised," he says. "But I'm not the only person who's been a little less than honest here."

"We both kept secrets for our own reasons; let's just agree on that." And it's not like we we're dating, or anything, so I don't understand why he seems angry and accusing about that. And even if I _had_ decided to date him, I still would have kept it a secret.

He nods. "I came here because… We want you to help us. You're a demon hunter, and so are we. We can help each other."

If he doesn't see the shock on my face, then I'll punch it into him. "Did you _miss_ the part where you tried to capture me? Were you gonna question me at all, or were you gonna hand me over to you lab coat pals and get right down to the experiments?"

"I told you we're sorry-"

"Yeah, well I need a little more than that!" I hope no one outside hears the yelling. "And if Spike hadn't come to save me-"

"Spike?" Now his face goes dark. "You mean the creature that whaled on _us_? The one you were fighting with? The books say you kill vampires, and yet you're fighting alongside one. Why's that?"

Before I can reply Amy the rat suddenly squeaks repeatedly in panic, and then the ground begins to shake.

* * *

><p>"He's such a self-contained, uncaring, butt-face!"<p>

"In England we say 'Good morning'."

I ignore Giles as I storm into his flat. I'm both worried about the earthquake and angry at Riley for his words, and I don't know what to focus on. I calm when Spike appears from the kitchen with a worried look on his face.

"What's the matter, pet?" he asks.

"Riley came to see me." His eyes widen, and I quickly go on to assure him, "No, not to take me in. He came to apologize; the commandos decided to actually research me over the holidays and they know who I am now. They want me to join them."

"_Join_ them?" Giles takes off his glasses. "After what they did they have the _nerve_ to ask you such a thing?"

"Should've punched the wanker in the nose," says Spike angrily.

I shrug. "I probably would've done if the earthquake hadn't interrupted us. Which is why I came to see you, Giles; I think something horrible is gonna happen."

"It was an earthquake, Buffy," he says, as if it doesn't matter. How does he not remember what happened last time? He was the one who talked about that prophecy behind my back. "It's not an uncommon occurrence in southern California."

It's like the roles have been reversed; last time he was worked up over the earthquake while I dismissed the whole thing like it was nothing. "I think there's more to it. My Slayer sense is tingling."

"Tha' might be 'cause you're near me, pet. Vampire, and all," Spike says helpfully. "You seem mighty worked up, though. What's the matter?"

"She's anxious," says Giles. "And it's an anxiety I completely understand and sympathize with."

"What do you mean?" he asks again.

I take a deep, calming breath. "Last time there was a big earthquake like this…something bad happened."

"End of the world?"

"That wasn't the bad part, but yes."

"So the end of the world wasn't the _bad_ part?"

I nod. "You met Kendra, didn't you, Spike? And you've heard of Faith. There's supposed to be only one Slayer, and yet there're two of them. Why do you think that is?"

"Well, another Slayer isn't called unless one…dies…" It dawns on him then what I'm hinting at, and he crosses the room to lay a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Pet, I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about," I say. "I was only dead for a minute. Drowned in a puddle, compliments to you great-great-grandsire."

"Batface?" Now he looks a little angry. "Knew I should've done away with the bugger years ago, Darla along with him."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. Now, anyway," I tell him. "Xander gave me CPR and made sure I lived to fight another day."

"So the Whelp _is_ good for something."

I give his shoulder a playful hit.

* * *

><p>So after Giles assures me that I shouldn't worry about the quake unless evidence suggests otherwise – and then after giving theories on where he thinks the underground lab is – I decide to join Willow at that shock party she was invited to. Spike tags along, as well.<p>

That's where we find a dead guy with symbols all over him, and we realize that the world _is_ coming to an end, after all. I _so_ called it.

I recognize the symbol and find it on the side of a mausoleum I patrol past most nights. Says something about my life when I'm recognizing these things now.

I catch the demon stealing child bones, but it gets away with them when I'm briefly winded after falling over a headstone. I hear someone approaching so leap to my feet and turn, but that someone turns out to be Riley and he blocks my punch. He stumbles back from the force of it, though.

"Wow, that flippy thing you did was-"

"Where did it go?" Why can't he stop paying attention to me and focus on more important matters, like trying to avert the impending apocalypse?

"It's gone. I saw it take off towards the woods." He points behind me.

I turn, but I can't see it. I turn back to him. "And you didn't follow it?"

He gestures to his ordinary clothes. "No weapons, no backup. You don't go after a demon _that_ size by yourself."

"_I_ do." Did he read up on Slayers at all…or just me?

He talks into his walkie-talkie, giving orders to whoever's on the other end, and then he turns back to me. "Did you think about our offer?"

Uh, did he not _see_ my reaction before? "Haven't had a chance," I lie. "I'm busy. I need to get the demon."

"Don't sweat it. We'll bag it," he tells me. "You join us, and you won't have to work as hard. You'll have time for more important things. Dating, for instance."

And…now he's trying to ask me out. He thought I was a demon – which he thinks is no better than an _animal_ – and tried to capture me, and now he wants to _date_ me. Seriously?

I shake my head. "Riley, I know you're interested in me, but I can't do this with you. You don't know what my life is like."

"And I'm dying to find out."

"'Dying' being the operative word here," I tell him. "There's too much risk, and honestly, I'm not interested. I wasn't before, and I'm not now."

"There's a huge difference between 'before' and 'now'," he says.

"Before this, you were too normal," I say honestly. "And now you're too…involved. There's no balance. It's doomed."

He stops me from leaving. "Are you really telling me that you don't feel anything? Because every inch of me is humming; my hands, my skin…my everything. I've never been this excited about anybody before. And I'm not gonna walk away because I think it might not work."

He reaches out for me but I back away. "You really don't get it, do you? I went to high school on a _Hellmouth_. This is just a job to you-"

"It's not just a job!"

"It's an adventure. Great," I tell him. Because to him, that's what it is. I can see it in his eyes; all this is his adventure – like he's a boy back in school – and I'm part of it. "But for me, it's destiny; it's my life, and it has been since I was fifteen. It's something I can't change or escape, and I'm stuck with it."

"But you're not stuck with it; you can change things."

"Riley, no," I continue. "You're not getting it. I have a life, and you just don't fit. My answer is 'no'. Deal with it."

I walk away, and I'm glad he doesn't stop me. I may have broken his wrist if he tried.


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Finding You Can Change

**Spike**

I help Buffy and her pals research the demon she caught stealing child's bones, and Red finds a ritual about it. "They need the bones of a child, the blood of a man and the Word of Valios. All part of a sacrifice; the Sacrifice of Three."

"I really hate what you demons call 'fun'," says the Whelp.

I shrug in agreement. "Not really my kind of fun, either. Give me a good brawl any day over some soddin' ritual."

"You mean like the one you used to try and cure your girlfriend?" the Whelp says back.

That pain I usually get whenever someone mentions Dru? Not there. Then again, that's probably because I've lost my heart to someone else now…

"So the sacrifice ends the world," says Buffy.

"Well, yeah," says Red. "But it's not big with the details, though. It doesn't say _how_ the world ends, or what the ritual entails exactly."

I think. "If it's a sacrifice of three…"

"Then three people are gonna die," says the Whelp.

Buffy shakes her head. "No. They won't – because claw boy's not getting all of his ingredients. We have to find that third one and keep him from getting it."

"If he doesn't already _have_ it," says Red. "I mean, who knows where he's been?"

"Spike and I will check the Magic shop," says Buffy. "We'll see if they've heard of this 'Word of Valios'. Wills, Xander; have a look in the book archive at the museum."

We set out. I can tell that she's tense about something, but I don't want to intrude on anything personal. If she wants to tell me, she'll tell me. But if she doesn't, that's fine with me.

"Do men see the world differently compared to women?"

How do I already know this is gonna be about that commando git? "Not really sure how to answer that," I say. "We might, we might not; wouldn't know unless we saw the world through a girl's eyes, which won't be anytime soon."

"It's just… Ugh." She sighs with her teeth gritted. "Riley tried to ask me out. I told him 'no', but he looked both insulted and confused that I'd turned him down. I mean, does the whole 'I was almost captured and experimented on' thing mean nothing to him?"

"Not takin' his side, but I've tried to kill you before."

"Yeah, but you acknowledged that it was a bad thing and you're actually sorry for it," she tells me. "He apologized like he was ordered to; like it didn't matter to him. He doesn't understand what his actions could have done to me. And then when he asked me out… He doesn't get it! He thinks this whole demon-hunting thing is one big adventure, like he's a child back at school, and all he seems to see me as is the love interest who does what he does. And by his way of thinking, that means we belong together."

Alright, I'm ripping this guy's head off, this thing in my head be damned. "Would've thought you'd want to be with a guy like that; one who's part of your world." Christ, it hurts to say that, but her happiness comes first.

"But he's not. He doesn't _get_ what I do." She looks away then, almost shyly. "You do."

I stop dead. Wait…does that mean she…?

"Buffy."

We both look up to see the commando himself approaching, only he doesn't look much like a commando at the mo. He smiles at Buffy before he glares at me.

"Riley," Buffy simply says.

"You know, you never really explained why you have this animal helping you." He continues to glare at me like I'm nothing more than dirt on the pavement.

"I'm not an animal. I have feelin's, you know," I tell him. "Not tha' it matters to you lot, right? You don't ask questions; it's all 'bag and tag' this, and 'bag and tag' that."

"Do you want me to bag and tag _you_?"

"Riley." Buffy steps in the way. "This is Spike. He's an old friend. But he helps me with my slaying and is part of my team, and that means you don't touch him."

Of course Captain Cardboard doesn't get it. "This is what I'm trying to tell you, Buffy. _I_ can help you, _and_ be part of your team. Then you don't have to rely on this thing for help and we can lock it back up where it belongs."

Buffy pushes him back, and I have to wonder if this wanker has a death wish. "Call him a thing one more time, and I'll be locking _you_ up in the hospital."

"What?" He looks confused. It's funny. "I don't get this…thing between us. It's stupid. _You're_ stupid."

"Hey!" I snap. "Watch your tongue!"

He glares at me again. "Sorry, I didn't mean that."

"Kinda sounded like you did," says Buffy. "You don't get it, Riley; you don't understand my life. And to be honest I never really understood it either until recently. But the fact that you don't get it is why we can't work. You're claiming that we're well matched, but if you truly saw what my life was made up of, then you'd see just how wrong you are. We can't work. End of story. Now please go."

"Buffy-"

"A real gentleman obeys a lady's wishes," I tell him, taking on that dark tone I use when I want to be threatening. To my surprise Buffy leans against me, and instinctively I place a hand on her shoulder.

Soldier boy looks between us. "You…you're involved with _him_?! That _creature_?!"

"I'm pretty sure I told you to stop calling him that," warns Buffy. I notice that she doesn't deny his words, but I see her line of thinking. It's a good way to get rid of the wanker; make him think that she's sleeping with something he considers below even animals.

He looks between us again, and I can see that it's working. "That's disgusting." And he walks away, just like she planned.

Before I can chuckle or give him a 'good riddance' Buffy walks away towards the Magic shop, and I hurry to catch up with her. "Buffy? Pet, what's the matter?"

"Am I disgusting?"

I circle to face her so fast I'm almost dizzy. "No, you're not. Don't listen to what that wanker says. He's just angry that he hasn't gotten what he wanted."

"But I always chase guys away. The ones who could be something." She sighs. "True, I never really thought about dating Riley, but there were others before him. Pike, Owen, Scott, Parker… OK, not Parker so much, but… Every time I tried dating normal, it always blew up in my face. I know it's because I'm not normal, but… Does that mean I'm doomed? Because…not even Angel…even though I know he's a jerk now, too…"

I see a tear fall and I use my thumb to wipe it away. "The reason I think it's so hard is because no man alive – or dead for that matter – is worthy of someone like you. You're one hell of a woman, Buffy."

She smiles and it's like the stars are shining. And then she's hugging me and I can do nothing but hug her back.

I think I see Captain Cardboard watching us from the shadows across the street, but when I look again there's no one there. Must've just been a trick of the light.

* * *

><p>Shame I wasn't about when Buffy and her lot blew up the school. Sounded like a good bit of fun. Looked like it too, if the state of the school is anything to go by.<p>

We find the demons and fight them, and it doesn't take us long to stop their little ritual and save the world.

Fighting with Buffy… It's like nothing I've ever done. It makes me wonder why I didn't start fighting with Slayers instead of against them before, but the answer is easy; those other Slayers weren't Buffy. They were good…but they weren't Buffy.

The way she fights is like nothing I've ever seen; very much like my own style. It's like dancing. I could dance with her all night. It's all we've ever done, now that I think back on it. Probably why I kept on coming back to this bleeding town; I couldn't get enough. It was like a thirst I couldn't quench.

And one I'll probably never quench. She may be friendlier towards me than before, and there was that other…stuff at Christmas. She treats me like a man.

But I know I'm a monster, and I know she'll never love me.


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Learning You Were Wrong

**Spike**

I don't think I've ever met a girl who hates her birthday so much. Although I don't blame her when I hear her reasons.

On her 16th, her parents divorced, she lost her first Watcher and she got kicked out of school. On her 17th I was there; the Poof lost his soul and broke her heart. On her 18th there was that sick Slayer's test which, I recall, I was asked to do. Despite hating the girl at the time I didn't hate her _that_ much.

Her mates want her to celebrate, but she's unsure. She asks me about it.

I just shrug. "'S your birthday, pet. You do what you wanna do. Sit on the sofa eatin' ice cream, runnin' naked down main street; all your choice. And if you just so happen to choose the latter, tell me and I'll get a front row seat."

She gives me a light punch, but she's smiling. I've made her happy, and that's all that matters.

In the end she decides to go through with having a party. Small, private affair, held at the Bronze. She says it reminds her of her 17th, and gives this sad little smile. "Your gift was the best part."

"My gift?"

"A severed arm in a box."

"Oh, that. It was the best part?"

She laughs. I want to laugh to, but…then I wouldn't be able to hear her sweet music. I could listen to that sound forever and I'd never grow tired of it.

* * *

><p>I've turned into an utter ponce.<p>

And I don't care.

I don't get a tux or anything fancy like that, but I get a nice shirt, jacket and trousers, and I still look like a ponce. And I can't even look in the sodding mirror. It's times like this when I resent being a vampire.

Better look forwards to it. I'm gonna resent it for the rest of my life, knowing that what I am is preventing me from being with the woman I've fallen in love with…

"For God's sake, man, you're not going to see yourself and you never will." I turn to find the Watcher frowning at me, and only then do I realize that I've been staring at the mirror for the past ten minutes, looking at the blank space where my reflection should be.

I sigh. "Do I really look alright?"

"You look odd," he says, "but I suppose that's because I am so used to seeing your impersonation of Billy Idol."

"Actually, _he's_ doin' an impersonation of _me_," I correct him. "He stole that look from me over twenty years ago. Would've eaten 'im if he didn't make good music."

It looks like the Watcher's about to crack a smile, but then he seems to realize who he's talking to and the smile vanishes. Pity. And we were getting along so well.

"Spike," he begins, and by the serious look he's giving me, I can tell that what he's about to say is important, "I understand that you are trying to get the attention of Buffy, but…while she has been kinder towards you as of late, this is not an indication that she wishes to…expand her relationship with you."

Ah, so it's an intervention of sorts. Or the Watcher stepping into the father role, which he admittedly fits into well. Either way, I shouldn't be surprised.

"Know that," I tell him. "Know I'm not good enough for her. No man is."

"That's something we can agree on," he says with a smile. "I suppose I should tell you…there is a prophecy."

"When _isn't_ there, mate?"

"This one is different," he explains. "Contrary to popular belief, fairy tales are descended from some of the oldest prophecies ever recorded. One such…prophecy we suspect may be about Buffy…and you."

I raise an eyebrow. "Me and Buffy? Which one?"

"It shouldn't be too hard to guess. Dawn was singing the songs from it non-stop over Christmas."

_Beauty and the Beast_. Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. "And you don't want this prophecy to come to pass, am I right?"

"I only want to protect Buffy," says the Watcher. "Life does not have happily ever afters, and as you must know, prophecies are not always correct. It may not even be about her at all, but if it is…"

"I know." My unbeating heart would be beating at a mile a minute if I was alive. It's a chance to be with Buffy – been written and everything – but would that seem…selfish? That I'd be relying on a prophecy in order to get the woman I love? "Does Buffy know about it?"

"Yes."

And suddenly her actions make a lot more sense. Don't get me wrong; I know she's grateful that I saved her, but taking this prophecy into account… I fear that she's only doing it because she feels she _has_ to, not because she wants to. If Buffy were to ever…return my feelings, I'd want her to do it at her own free will instead of because a prophecy says so.

Which means that she'll never love me. But at least she'll be happy.

* * *

><p>I gasp when I see her.<p>

She's gorgeous.

She's wearing a beautiful golden dress as if she's wearing her own skin; it fits her perfectly. Her hair is up in a bun, and I'm reminded of the movie the Nibblet kept going on about.

Buffy's trying too hard. My heart sinks.

We do the cake and presents. Buffy looks questioningly at me when we're done, since she hasn't opened mine, and I motion to her that I want to wait until later – when we're alone. She smiles, understanding. I watch from the side-lines as she dances with her friends, with her Watcher, with her sister, with her mum…

And then the Nibblet had to put on that ruddy song.

_Tale as old as time…_

Of course, Buffy walks over to me and takes my hands in hers, before pulling me onto the dance floor. I go willingly, unable to deny her anything.

She places my hands on her waist before she puts her own around my neck, and we begin to sway. I see the Whelp and Demon Girl do the same, and after some hesitation, I see Red and Glinda join us, too. I know questions will be asked later, and I smile at them to show my support.

I almost freeze when Buffy lays her head on my chest, and when I look over at the Nibblet, she gives me an encouraging thumb up.

The Slayer's little sis; trying to hook up her big sis with a vampire. The world has officially turned on its head.

When the song ends, Buffy leads me away and we retreat up onto the walkway above. I know why she leads me up there; she wants the gift I got her. The nerves begin to get to me. I know she'll see right through the gift and see my true feelings for her, and I know she'll reject me. And yet I can't help but hope.

A man's gotta try, right?

"So, what's so special about my present that you wanted to give it to me in private?" she asks curiously.

I take out the box in my pocket, and thank god it's bigger than a ring box, else she'd get the wrong idea. I give it to her, and when she takes it, I can see her hand shaking a little.

She opens it up and gasps.

"Sun and moon," I say. I saw it after we got back, and I knew its true place was around her neck; a golden sun being half eclipsed by a silver moon. "Girl and Slayer, you know? Girl by day…"

"Slayer by night." She smiles as she takes it out of the box. "Could you put it on?"

I freeze for a moment before I nod. She hands the necklace to me before she turns, exposing her neck and bare shoulders to me. For not even a moment do I think about biting her; instead I imagine myself kissing every inch of exposed skin before whispering in her ear how beautiful she is and how much I love her…

I gulp, pushing down the impulse as I unclasp the chain. Then I bring it around her neck and do it back up again. "There. Right where it belongs." My hands linger there longer than they should, and I find myself gently massaging her shoulders. At first I think I'm imagining it, but then I realize that Buffy really _is_ leaning into my touch and moaning in pleasure…

"Mmm… Spike…"

"Buffy?" I stop what I'm doing.

She turns to me, and for a scary, heart-stopping moment, I think she's going to kiss me.

"Buffy!"

We look down to the Watcher. I think at first he's calling her down and away from me because he noticed what was happening, but then I see the phone in his hand and I wonder what's up.

We hurry down the stairs. "I knew something was gonna happen tonight, and it's barely even six."

"It's Angel," says the Watcher. "He needs help with…Faith. She tried to kill him."

Buffy sighs. "Can't he handle it himself?"

"I'm afraid not. She's proving to be far more dangerous than the last time you faced her," says the Watcher.

She sighs before she nods. "OK. I'll go."

And just like that she's away, her mum taking her home to change out of that beautiful dress of hers. Of course she needs to go to Angel; it always goes back to Angel, doesn't it?

She told me about what happened between them. She told me that no matter what, they can't work out anymore; too much has happened between them. But she found it within herself to forgive me for all I've done, so she'll do the same for him. They'll find a way to be together, and she'll be happy.

I'll stick around. I'll help her wherever I can. I'll keep an eye on the Nibblet for her, and her friends. And all the while I'll be waiting for my final death to set me free.


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Certain as the Sun

**Buffy**

Spike's gift…

I keep touching it. It's just so…special. I've never been given such a meaningful gift before.

Yeah, there was that ring Angel gave to me on my 17th, but thinking back to it, the ring was just a mark; _his_ mark on me. To show that I belonged to him and that I was his "property".

The necklace…

It's _me_. It's the balance between girl and Slayer, the balance I've been longing for. I can't kid myself anymore; I'll never have a normal life, so balance is the only way to go. Why Angel told me to try for normal is beyond me. I could never do that. It's like telling him to go try walking in the sun – which he could've done if he'd just kept that stupid gem.

Maybe I _should_ have just let Spike keep it. He would've made far better use of it.

I touch the necklace again. Spike…

In a way it could represent the two of us, as well. I'm the sun, he's the moon… Two halves of the same whole.

How did I go from hating Spike to…almost loving Spike in a matter of weeks? It just happened so fast that I didn't think; I just let myself feel, really feel instead of the blindly feeling along I did with Angel. With Spike I just let myself be swept along for the ride. I let myself see him.

I like what I see.

It all feels so…wonderful.

And now I have to go save my ex from a psychotic Slayer. Life sucks.

* * *

><p>When I walk into Angel's downstairs apartment, I find him hugging Faith. And I'm not jealous.<p>

I'm confused, and a bit angry that he made me come all the way to LA even though he clearly has things under control. I'm also not sure what to make of Faith's sudden change either, until I remind myself of a certain bleach blonde vampire who's changed drastically over the past couple of weeks.

So I'm a bit more sympathetic. But still pissed.

Then that goes away when I realize that they really _do_ need my help. On top of almost being assassinated by demons sent by a group of evil lawyers – and I thought _I_ had problems back in Sunnydale; Angel's got an evil law firm after him – Faith's also got the Council after her. And the cops.

I tell her that it's her own fault. I'm shocked when she admits it.

She escapes and Angel is almost arrested, until we find Faith down at the station confessing to her crimes and begging the cops to let Angel go; explaining that he was only helping her see the error of her ways. She'll have to go to jail, but she accepts that.

Things end well – but then Angel and I are left alone, and I know that we have a lot to talk about.

* * *

><p>At first we're silent. But then Angel speaks first. "Nothing's going on between me and Faith. It was about saving her soul; she needed me to bring her back to the light."<p>

"I know," I tell him. "I…I didn't feel anything when I saw you hugging her."

He frowns. "You didn't? I…thought you would."

"I've moved on, Angel," I continue. "A lot of stuff has happened since I was last here. I've made a lot more realizations about what we had, and honestly? If you hadn't lost your soul and we'd continued on naturally, I doubt we would have lasted a year."

He looks heartbroken. "How can you say that? Buffy, if there was even a chance for me to be with you-"

"You'd give it up to play the hero. You'd give it up because you'd feel the need to protect me, even though you and I both know that I don't need it," I tell him. I know I shouldn't let him know, but… "That's what you did last time."

He goes pale. Or paler than he already is. "Last…time?"

"Don't pretend, Angel." I've dropped all friendliness. It ends now. "I know you remember that day. I do too, and it made me realize that you never truly loved me. Else it wouldn't have mattered that you couldn't defend yourself; you would have trained yourself up. You would never have been as strong as me, but it wouldn't have mattered if you truly loved me."

"The prophecy…"

"Is not about you," I finish for him. "God, you gave up your chance to be with me once; I know you'll do it again. Besides, Giles was able to get someone to translate the middle bit, and it refers to a 'Slayer of Slayers'. You ever killed a Slayer, Angel?"

His eyes widen before they grow dark. And here comes the green eyed monster.

"Spike…"

"If the prophecy is about me, then yes," I tell him. "It's Spike."

"You can't trust Spike! He's a monster!"

"The only monster I ever fought was _you_!" I yell. "_You_ tried to end the world while Spike fought beside me to _save_ it! _Without a soul_!"

He winces at that low blow, but he doesn't back down. "I lived with him. I know what he's like."

"Do you?" I question. "Do you really? Or were you too busy fucking Darla and Drusilla to really see him? Because I've lived with him for weeks, and I _like_ the man I see. Angel, he saved my life even though he had every right not to and even thought it caused him unbearable pain."

"So, what? You love him now?"

I pause and ask myself that same question. Do I love him?

"I know that I care for him," I reply honestly. "More than I ever thought I could. And maybe someday I'll love him, and if that day comes, I won't need _your_ approval."

"Buffy, listen to yourself." He begins pacing. "You're talking about _Spike_ here. _Spike!_ He tried to _kill_ you, and I know I did too, but I wasn't myself then."

"He's different now," I tell him. "He's changed. Or maybe he's just gone back to being the man he used to be. Either way, I wasn't lying before; I like the man I see."

He looks away. "It's just the prophecy, isn't it? You're only acting this way because you feel you _have_ to. Not all prophecies are set in stone."

"That's not what you told me when you thought it was about _you_." I glare at him. "Contradictive, much? And telling me about the prophecy before trying to pull another 'I can't see you but you can see me' thing… You were trying to make me "wait" for you so I'd always be yours, and all you accomplished there was making yourself look like a manipulative jerk. I'm no longer your girl, Angel. Get over it."

He looks like a kicked puppy, and I know that I shouldn't be so harsh, but… He needs to get this inside his head so he doesn't try anything stupid later. And he always pulls the kicked puppy look when he wants me to feel sorry for him and forgive him. It's not gonna work this time.

Maybe I'll forgive him one day, but that won't change anything between us. I'm over him. I've moved on.

That ship has sailed. Door closed. Book shut.

Time to sail a new ship, open a new door; a new book. One with bleached hair and dressed all in black.

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, and I turn to see Wesley. And can I say that Watcher Jr. has really grown a pair since I last saw him? Talk about character development.

"Giles just called me." He looks at me, and before he even tells me I know that something bad has happened. "The commandos are after them. They want Spike."


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Rising in the East

**Spike**

And when my night couldn't get any worse, the Whelp bursts into the Watcher's place with bad news.

"I just got a tip off; Riley and his commando buddies are coming after Spike."

The Scooby Snacks all exchange worried glances. "Where'd you get the tip from?" asks Red.

"Riley himself," says the Whelp. "We talked a bit before; shared mutual demon hate. He probably felt he could trust me. He told me to get all the innocents out of the way so they can come and get Spike without much trouble."

"And you came to warn us. I'm so proud of you, honey!" Demon Girl leaps and hugs him.

I frown. I though the Whelp hated me? "So why the warnin'?"

He gives me a frustrated look. "I know you hate me, and it's mutual; I hate you, too. But not only did you save Buffy from those guys, you've been making her happy over these past couple of weeks. I haven't seen her smile this much since before Angel lost his soul, and if those commando guys get a hold of you, it'll devastate her. And dammit, I'm her best friend; best friends make sure their friends stay happy."

Well, I guess the boy's not that much of a whelp, after all.

"We need to move quickly," says the Watcher. "I'll contact Buffy in LA and tell her what's happening. Hopefully she would have dealt with Faith by now and will be able to return as quickly as possible." He hurries from the room.

"But where can we go?" asks the Nibblet. "They know we're here, they know Buffy's house, they know the dorm, and they probably know Xander's place…"

"How 'bout the mansion?" I suggest. "I'm sure those wankers don't know a thing about Angel; there's no connection to Buffy. And it's big with plenty of places to hide, and it's on top of a hill; good defence."

"The army guy in me agrees," says the Whelp – or maybe I should just refer to him as 'Harris' now, 'cause he's not much of a whelp anymore? "We should get there quickly; Riley gave me between five and ten minutes to clear innocents out before they come for Spike."

The Watcher re-enters the room. "Buffy should be on her way; I said where we're going. And I agree with Xander that we need to hurry."

* * *

><p>A couple of hours later we're settled in the mansion, ready for an attack. I notice Red and Glinda sat on the floor with several books open, and I wander over to see what they're doing.<p>

"Oh good, Spike, you're here," says Red.

"What d'you girls want with me?" I ask.

Red looks hesitant. "Well, Tara and I figured that…since we'll be fighting against humans…maybe we should temporarily disable whatever it is in your head."

"Disable it?" Harris's head snaps up. The boy still hates me; point made.

"Only t-temporarily," says Glinda. "I-I f-figured that what's…in your h-head is a ch-chip. L-like a…a behaviour m-modification chip."

Red nods. "We've found a spell that will temporarily disable it. I mean, I know Spike can fight even with it in, but it causes him so much pain. Without it, he stands a chance."

"But he'll kill them," says Harris. "I mean, yeah, bad people and everything, but they're still people. And most army guys just follow orders no matter what; it's not really their fault."

"I won't kill 'em," I say. And I'm telling the truth. "Buffy won't like it, so I won't kill them."

"Do you have the ingredients?" asks the Watcher.

Red nods again. "We just need to find a room to do it in, where everything's quiet. Spike doesn't have to be in the room with us; just nearby."

Suddenly there's a loud crash, and we turn to the noise. There's a smoke bomb lying on the floor, and it immediately lets loose a shroud so we can't see. My first instinct is to protect Mum and the Nibblet; I run towards them. I'm able to hurry them into another room and I lock the door tight behind them.

I can't stay with them. The soldier boys are after _me_.

"Willow! Hide!" I hear the Watcher command. "Perform the spell!" I'm able to make out the forms of the two witches as they hurry to lock themselves in another room.

The rest of us – myself, the Watcher, Harris and Demon Girl – are forced to hide behind furniture as the soldier boys enter. As the smoke clears I make out Captain Cardboard leading the way.

"Secure the civilians and make sure they don't interfere," he orders. "Hostile 17 is mine."

Harris suddenly attacks along with Demon Girl, both swinging weapons from the bag the Watcher brought. The Watcher himself does the same, and my heart tightens when I see Joyce break down the door of her room and hurry from it with an axe.

"Run, Spike!" I hear the Nibblet yell, and I obey. At least I can draw Cardboard away from them; I can see the crazy in his eyes.

Funny what love can do to a man.

I hear him give chase and I lead him up to the second floor. I don't really like my chances; I was only able to get him last time because I had the advantage of surprise, not to mention the determination to save Buffy.

Now with her gone and most likely in the arms of the Poof… I don't have the will to fight back. What's the point? I might as well let Cardboard just dust me; then he can leave the others alone. They're protecting me, and I might as well return the favour.

I'm cornered, and that's when the little game of 'Kick the Spike' begins. "What's the matter, monster? I thought you vampires were tough? Oh yeah, you can't fight back, can you? That just makes things easier for me."

He punches. He kicks. Why can't he just dust me already?

"Thought you were good enough for her, didn't you?" he yells between the punches and the kicks. "But here's the thing; why would she lower herself to fuck with a creature like you when she had a guy like me? She's just delusional, that's all. Or do you have some kind of thrall on her? Vampires can have that, so I've heard. That means when I kill you, she'll be free."

I cough up blood when he pauses for a moment. "You don't…deserve her…" I'm able to choke out. "No…man…is worthy…of her…"

Cardboard grabs me before he throws me at the window; I smash through it and land on the balcony. Then he grabs me again and hoists me up, before pinning me against the railings. "I deserve her. That's how it should be. The good guys get the girl while the monsters die."

"Spike!" I hear a distance cry, and I recognize the voice as Red's. "Spike, we've done the spell! You can hit people now!"

But I don't want to. I'm done with this. Why should I fight back when I have nothing left to live for?

"Spike!"

I open my eyes. No…my mind… It's playing tricks on me…

But I look down and I see her. Buffy. I see Peaches behind her, knocking out soldiers left and right, and Buffy…is looking right at me in a mixture of happiness and fear. She's happy to see me? And she's scared that I'll…

"Riley, no! Don't!"

Cardboard has a stake raised. But instead of letting it plunge into my heart, I grab his hand and squeeze hard enough so he lets go of it from the pain. I look up at him, shifting into my game face.

Buffy's here. She came back. And if she doesn't want me dead, then I'm not gonna die anytime soon.

I'll give Cardboard some credit; he has some skill. But it's not nearly enough to defend himself from a master vampire. I go all out, kicking and punching and giving him the treatment he gave me; all I need is a chip to shove in his brain and we'll be even.

We fall onto another part of the roof, and when I regain my balance, I pin soldier boy down and eye his neck hungrily. The demon urges me to kill him; take the life of the man who I know would've gone on to try and hurt my girl. My Slayer.

The same girl who won't be happy when she sees I've taken a human life.

I won't kill him. I'm the better man here, and the better man walks away. So I get to my feet before I pick him up and hold him close to my face. "You go near her again, and I won't be so merciful next time." Then I let him drop to my feet.

"Spike!"

I turn back to the balcony and I see Buffy, smiling at me. My game face fades away and I smile in return. "Buffy." I climb towards her, and she holds out a hand as it starts to rain around us. I reach out and take her hand, and she pulls me to her. "You came back."

"Of course I came back, you silly vamp. I _live_ here." She strokes my cheek, and I stroke hers.

She came back to help me.

She may not love me like I love her, but she came back to help me. I want to kiss her. I know she'll reject me, but at least then she'll know how I feel. I have to tell her. I have to show her. I begin to lean in…

And then suddenly there's a pain in my side, and I cry out in agony.


	20. Chapter Nineteen: Song as Old as Rhyme

**Buffy**

I can't think. I can't talk.

All I can do is focus on getting back to Sunnydale so I can save Spike.

I also give Angel a glare and a threat whenever he tries to break the silence.

The only reason he came was so he could drive me. I took the bus to LA, but there's no time to take a bus back. Buses don't go fast enough; they keep stopping to let people off and pick people up, and then there's the traffic…

I clench my fists. Calm, I tell myself. Save the fight for the commandos and Riley. Boy, is Riley gonna get a pounding when I get there. I can't kill humans, but I have no problems with putting them in the hospital when the deserve it. And Riley definitely deserves it.

I know this isn't just some commando thing; I know he's not bringing Spike in because he's an escaped hostile. I know it's about thinking that Spike and I are together.

Which just pisses me off more. Can't Riley just move on and find some soldier girl he can go live happily ever after with?

Does he have to try and ruin mine?

We get into Sunnydale and we head for the mansion. When we arrive there's a van outside with commandos on guard, and when we pull up, they immediately rush over. I'm first out, and I'm upon them before they can even register how pissed I am. Angel takes out a couple of his own, and then we're back to back, fighting them off. But we don't move as one.

Not like Spike and I do, the couple of times we patrolled together.

I break through the barrier of soldiers and hurry towards the mansion, and that's when I see him.

High above me, beaten, and with Riley pinning him against the railings.

"Spike!"

I see him open his eyes and look down, and despite the distance, I see the shock and awe in his eyes. Riley sees me too, and in anger he raises his stake.

"Riley, no! Don't!"

But before he can bring it down, Spike grabs his wrists and squeezes hard enough that Riley drops the stake with a painful cry. I smile. I don't know how, but somehow whatever it is in Spike's head that stopped him from hurting people before… It's no longer a problem.

I don't even think, not for a moment, that he'll come after us once the battle is done. He's changed. He'll never hurt me, my friends or my family; I can count on it.

I hurry inside and I see my friends and family fighting more commandos. I want to get to Spike, but I know he can handle himself while my friends and family can't. So I hurry to their aid and take down commandos left and right.

I recognize Forrest and Graham among them, along with most of the other TAs, but that doesn't stop me. They're trying to hurt my friends and my family, and I won't stand for that. Angel comes in to help me, and we're able to take them out.

I don't wait up; when they're all down I sprint up the stairs towards the balcony and Spike.

I panic when I don't see him. But then I see a dark shape on the roof below, and I realize that Spike has Riley pinned beneath him. He's in game face, and it looks like he's going to bite him.

I hold my breath. While I honestly wouldn't blame Spike if he killed Riley…he still would've taken a human life, and I don't think I'll be able to look at him in the same way again. I know he's killed people before, but…this time I would've watched him do it.

But instead of killing him, Spike makes another choice; he climbs off Riley, picks him up, threatens him, and then lets him drop to his feet.

I smile. I knew he was the better man. "Spike!"

He turns to me and he smiles. "Buffy." He climbs towards me, and wanting to touch him I reach out my hand. He reaches out with his own and takes mine, and I pull him towards me. Our smiles never leave our faces. "You came back."

I'm a little confused. "Of course I came back, you silly vamp. I _live_ here." Unless he thought…since I went to help Angel…

I never thought Spike to be the kind of guy with insecurities. I guess I'll just have to nip those in the bud. I reach out and stroke his cheek tenderly, and he does the same. I see him leaning in, and I know he's going to kiss me, and maybe if I kiss him back he'll see that I want him and not Angel or Riley…

Suddenly Spike cries out in pain.

I look down to see Riley holding an arrow, which he's jabbed into Spike's side. Thank god he didn't have the strength to aim for the heart.

I realize that Spike is starting to fall back, and I grab his duster to stop him. In doing so Spike's arm hits Riley, and the soldier loses his balance. With a startled cry he slides down the now slippery roof – when did it start raining? – before falling off the edge. I hear him hit the ground, and I know that he probably hasn't survived the fall.

I pull Spike over the railings and lie him down before I yank out the arrow. He cries out in pain again.

"Sorry!" I instantly apologize. I get his duster off him and then the scent hits me.

Poison – the same that almost killed Angel.

"Buffy…"

I throw the arrow away and turn back to Spike. "I'm here. It's OK. Just…stay with me, OK?"

The others arrive on the scene but they don't intrude. They just watch what could be my last moments with Spike.

"Buffy…you came back…for me…" He reaches up to cup my cheek.

"Spike, listen to me," I tell him. "That arrow had poison on it; special poison that kills vampires. The only cure is Slayer blood; you need to drink from me, or you'll die."

He instantly shakes his head. "No…could never…drink from you… Love you… God, I love you…could never…"

My heart clenches. He loves me…and he's dying. I know he's not Angel; I can't force him to drink from me by punching him repeatedly in the face. Not even if I force his fangs into me, will he drink.

Because he loves me.

And now I'm going to lose him. "Spike, please…"

"At least…I got to…see you…again…"

I shake my head. I'm crying, but I don't realize it. I'm going to lose him. No…no, I can't lose him…

I love him.

I lean down and kiss him. First on the lips then all over his face. "Spike, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Suddenly something within me shifts. I back away, in time to see Spike's look of shock before he's completely consumed by light.

The prophecy.

I see something small rise out of his head before it vanishes into thin air. The black nail polish on his fingers fades away, and then his hair both grows longer and turns darker. Then I see the face of his demon emerge from the light; it hovers in the air for a few seconds before it vanishes.

Then the light fades and only Spike remains. He looks a little different, but I know it's still him.

He looks weird with brown hair.

His eyes open and he sits up, before he focusses on me. "Buffy? What just…?"

I shuffle closer to him, and somehow I know what to do. I lean towards his chest and place an ear upon it. I have to shift to find the right spot, but then I hear it; drawing me in like a siren song, and it's the most beautiful sound in the world.

His heartbeat.

"You're alive." I pull back and smile at him. Now I'm crying tears of happiness.

"I'm…alive." He feels for his pulse before his hands go to his hair. "Christ, I must look like a right wanker."

I giggle. "No. You look handsome." I reach out and remove a stray hair from his face.

His eyes meet mine. "Did you…really mean it?"

I nod. "I love you."

"I love you too, Buffy."

We kiss and it's the most wonderful thing ever.


	21. Epilogue: Beauty and the Beast

**Buffy**

When we finally come up for air, I notice that the others have left us alone. Wise of them. Being with Spike, realizing that I love him and he loves me… It won't be long before we're clawing at each other's clothes.

Plus there's a bed in the room. The universe obviously wants us to sleep together _right now_.

Spike smirks before he kisses me again, and he leads me towards the bed gently; both showing how much he wants to do this but at the same time giving me a choice. And I want to; I really, really do.

But…

"Don't want to lose you," I tell him when we come up for air again.

He looks down at me, frowning. "I'm not goin' anyway, kitten. I'm stayin' right here with you. Why would I leave now?"

"Because they always leave," I tell him. "Every time I sleep with a guy, they turn evil and then they leave. If you…if something happens to you…" I try not to cry but I can't prevent the tear that escapes my eye.

Spike smiles tenderly at me before he wipes the tear away with his thumb, and then he cups my cheek. "Buffy, look at me, darlin'. I'll never leave you. And as for turnin' me evil… That'll never happen. Parker was a git, and as for Angel… Well, it was his own fault for not botherin' to find out everything about his curse."

"He told me I was bad…"

"Tha' was Angelus," he assures me. "Believe me, pet; if you're anything like you are in battle, then you'll be glorious."

He kisses me again before we fall onto the bed and make love.

* * *

><p>"You wanted me to be with someone normal. OK, Spike's not normal, but then again I'm not normal, either. And he's not a vampire anymore; can you deal with that?"<p>

Angel doesn't make eye contact. But he's trying to deal for me; finally that whole 'Buffy can be happy without Angel' thing is getting through his head, and he seems to have accepted that I'll never be with him.

"I would've preferred it to be anyone but Spike," he says. "But he can give you a family now. Just…don't get upset when he starts to resent you for being stronger than him."

OK, so maybe he doesn't get all of it yet. "He loves me, more than you ever did. He doesn't care that I'm stronger than him. If anything, it turns him on. Stop trying to drive wedges between us; it's not gonna work. I'm with him. Deal with it. Move on."

"Easy for you to say. I can't…"

"Then find a way," I tell him. "You could find another Mohra demon and turn yourself human again. Giles and Xander can manage saving the world without super powers; you can, too. And when you find that perfect girl, you can be with her. Just… Please accept that you and I can't work, no matter how much you beg."

He nods, and while I know he'll probably go brood over everything that's happened, he'll move on. I hope.

* * *

><p>"I'm happy, and my love life is totally nobody's business but mine. You guys get to date who you want, so why can't I? I love him, and he loves me. If anyone has a problem with that, there's the door."<p>

I know Willow won't have a problem, and she and Tara are first to hug me. Then Anya and Xander hug me, and then Giles joins us, too.

"I'm your friend, Buff," says Xander. "That's more important. And yeah, I may not be a fan of the formerly evil dead, but he makes you happy, and I can't get in the way of that."

"I am just happy for you," says Giles. "But if he breaks your heart, I'll be breaking both his legs."

* * *

><p>"Joyce, I can find my own place; it's really no trouble…"<p>

But Mom just smiles at him and ushers him into the spare room. "You're family now, dear. All I ask is that you either use the cot in the basement or play loud music when the need arises for certain activities…"

My eyes widen. "Mother!"

Dawn just hurries out the room before she bursts out laughing.

* * *

><p>We found out what that whole 'Power of the Slayer' thing means. Spike's now a Slayer; the first male Slayer in history.<p>

And how did we find this out? A bunch of surviving commandos decided to attack us. Spike and I were both shocked when he found himself using super strength he thought he'd lost.

"The Council are very intrigued by this," says Giles. "They have agreed to shut down the laboratory and ask if there is anything else the two of you require."

"Pay checks," says Spike. "Enough for us to get by in the world instead of bein' forced to make ends meet by workin' at the soddin' Doublemeat Palace. Therefore she has time to slay and save the world while I have time and money to pleasure her with everything her heart desires – namely me."

I'm so in love with him right now.

* * *

><p>"It's official," I say. "Disney is run by demons. How else could they have gotten so much of it right?"<p>

Spike chuckles as the credits for _Beauty and the Beast_ scroll down the TV screen. "Would make a lot of sense, I'll admit. But are you really that mad about it?"

I can't say that I am. When I was a little girl I dreamed of my life being a Disney fairy tale, and _Beauty and the Beast_ was my favourite. I'd meet a beast who's actually kind and gentle on the inside, we'd fall in love, he would become a man again, and we'd live happily ever after.

It was a dream I gave up on when I entered high school and reality hit me like a wrecking ball. And then I became the Slayer, and pretty much all my dreams died.

But maybe I should have kept on hoping for that little girl dream to come true – because it has. I'm not saying that everyone in the world lives happily ever after, and it's probably stupid to just sit around waiting for it to happen.

A happily ever after has to be earned, and in seeing the man within the beast – especially after everything I went through and what me and Spike were before – I definitely earned mine.

I wonder how I'd tell this story to our kids? Once Upon a Time there was a Slayer who met a vampire who wanted to kill her…

Yeah, not good. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.


End file.
